3 дня в аду 3 days in hell

Rested this year in the "Coral" with friends. True, not for long - three days. Then we still managed to get our feet out of there. I'll do a little "advertising" for them.
Are you tired of traveling in comfort? Clogged, as a rule, to failure, the bus that takes you to the beach will add variety to your life!
Have you ever broken your legs? You will have a great opportunity to do this, going up / down the crooked steps for half an hour to the beach or just to the city!
Do you like to search for adventures in dark alleys? When you return from the city in the evening (the last bus of the base leaves at 18.30), you will have this opportunity!
Tired of nostalgia for Soviet times? The peeled wallpaper and some pieces of furniture in the huts (sorry, rooms) will remind you of them!
Do you love pets? Here they are provided completely free of charge and in a large assortment: cockroaches, spiders, centipedes, bugs, judging by the sounds, there are even mice!

You are used to taking showers exactly from seven to eight in the evening and love the queue; perhaps you prefer cold or contrast showers? Then you will definitely be pleased with the local showers!
Tired of excessive politeness and courtesy of the staff? You are welcome: here you will not wait for her!
Love when your expectations are deceived? The promised free beach from Artek does not exist. There is a beach from Artek, where only people from Artek are allowed in, and there is a beach from Artek for 9 hryvnias per day!
Love gossip? You will be able to learn everything about the life of your neighbors: the audibility is excellent!
Modesty and security do not interest you? You will love the glass front door to the shack (sorry, room) and the window in the toilet!
And, of course, a few words about the dining room. . .
Are you tired of hygiene and delicious food? Then this is the place for you!
Are you a vegetarian? Then cutlets, consisting of bread, semolina, toilet paper and a small amount of meat flavor, almost identical to natural, will delight you! If you still got meat for lunch, do not panic: in fact, these are solid bones!
Love all things antique? Then dried fruit compote, which was fruit twenty years ago, is what you need!
Are you on a diet? Then you will like skim (heavily diluted with water) milk!
Do you think that napkins are superfluous? Then you will be pleased that here only one per person is given for a meal, and cutlery is placed directly on an oilcloth of dubious purity!
Tired of butter? You have nothing to worry about: only margarine is served here!
Love the variety of choices? Then you will like the fact that you can choose dishes! As many as two options: just your eyes run wide!
Well, so that everything does not look too gloomy, I will tell you about the good. There is beautiful nature on the territory of the recreation center (they could not spoil it), and the waiters in the dining room are polite (which cannot be said about the rest of the staff).
Love extreme? I wish you a pleasant stay on the "Coral"!