England and me
Hello.
And why haven't I told you about my trip to England until now? As if there were no adventures and life lessons. . .
I'm getting better! Sit back and. . . Read or listen to a new story. . .
The beginning of my trip to Great Britain can be considered the year 2015, when I first wanted this piece of Europe, and applied for an urgent visa, paying the required 150 pounds (something about 10.000 rubles), and just as urgently, got rejected 4 days later. Of course, the British embassy was not going to return my money, but they made me happy - I can apply for an urgent visa again, just for the same 150 pounds.
- How many times can I apply in a month? – I addressed my question to the visa consultant.
- Yes, as much as you like, the main thing is to pay, - they answered me.
- How many times can you refuse my visa?
- The same number of times you applied.
- Fuck you, businessmen, I retorted, - thinking about a very profitable business on their part. . .
In general, if you go to England, remember: in this country, big and small money is incredibly loved; they will be charged from you at every opportunity, and the pockets must be kept on the clasp, otherwise they will be empty in a jiffy. I had several of these "robbery", but first things first. . .
Getting a visa to England is very difficult. It is necessary to collect a lot of documents on the presence of own property and various bank statements. They are afraid of only one thing - that you, immigrate, and sit on their necks, asking for political asylum. But I overcame this intimidated system, and exactly one year later, in the fall of 2016, having approached the preparation of documents more responsibly, I fulfilled all the visa conditions with high quality; I was rewarded with a pass to the Land of Mists for 6 months.
Hooray!
I immediately went to England.
On my way to the Kingdom of England, I had to fly into Prague.
What is interesting in Prague? asked the Instagram account: and the most attractive answer was from Ira - "the most delicious beer in the world. " I had already decided to try the recommended intoxicating drink, but. . . the guardian angel stopped me completely unexpectedly, and as it turned out later, it was absolutely right, because if only! . . then it would! . .
In short, England rewarded me with both the most positive and categorically negative impressions, which I consider as life lessons, but if you read this article to the end, then it is unlikely that you will repeat my mistakes and save several hundred, otherwise I will euro. . .
Landing at English Gatwick Airport, I immediately went to a car rental agency, where I was supposed to be waiting for a comfortable Ford Mondeo, booked and paid for back in Russia. It was almost 12 at night, I was greeted with a smile (as it turned out later - it was artificially strained, and eventually disappeared altogether), and we began a long dialogue of misunderstanding. Why is that? I don't know. Although I know. Despite the fact that I had signed all the contracts with the Russian representative of the lessor, the manager in the office was not at all going to give the car on pre-agreed conditions. He wanted me to re-sign the contract with different amounts, much more than previously reported.
- But I have a contract! I retorted, showing my papers.
- You can tear them up and throw them away, today they are not valid! - I heard in response.
Then several more service workers came to the office, and for some reason I thought that they would kill me now. Apparently, in 30 minutes of our communication, I really got the employees, as in general, they me. But there were no options, and I understood this very well...
One. In a foreign country. On the outskirts of the city. At night…
The car was vital to me at that moment, and not only as a means of transportation. At least I could get to safety on it, but here. . .
In general, having tried all the methods of defending their interests; both legal and human, I lost. Because "take the car on our terms or leave" felt like some kind of extortion.
I was given a Ford C-Max. Of course, not the one I booked, but brand new, spacious, equipped with all the equipment I need. I was kind of pleased, and we started walking around the car, logging all the scratches on the body.
Guys, if you rent a car, inspect it very carefully, and preferably film it on video from all sides, because financial losses can be catastrophic. I had a night during the inspection, and I did not notice one inconspicuous dent on the rear tailgate, but when I walked around the car the next morning after waking up in the hotel, the malfunction was found. Horror! What to do? I even had the idea to go to a local service to even out this little bump, but it remained an unrealized idea. As a result, this little thing did not affect the price increase when the car was handed over, but something else did…
NEVER take the word of the British when drafting contracts, but fix your every word on paper - that's my advice to you.
While still in Moscow, I booked a car for 5 days, but upon arrival in London, I realized that 5 was not enough, and already on the spot I decided that 6 was the most. I announced the number six on the spot at the office of the car rental company, they said that it was 5 in the contract, but this is not a problem, come and pay extra. OK? Hockey.
In fact, it’s not fucking okay, and when I came to them after 5 days to pay for another one, they charged me a sky-high penalty fee, because according to them, I was 3 hours late.
- But we agreed with the manager, and in the evening no one in your company picked up the phone. . .
- This has not been documented. I have to ask you to pay the invoice!
- Wow. . . - I thought, but arguing in a foreign country was not quite adequate, and I did what was indicated.
At that moment, the decision was spinning in my head that in Russia I could contact the company that represented my interests and resolve this situation, but this did not lead to anything in the future - all parties took my money and could not, or did not want to resolve the situation .
In general, the result is this: The Russian representative office of the Rentalcars. com company does not solve anything and does not stand up for its customers, the English company Easirent. com is clearly cheating, even at the legal level. If you're thinking of renting a car from them, I don't recommend it. Pay several times more than promised. I got 5 times more. But by communicating with other people, I learned that you can get a more serious amount. The most important thing is to read the contracts, check all the footnotes and letters, and know English well; this is important, and will come in handy, especially when you are being arrested. Yes, yes, I had an adventure with chases and flashing lights. . . : )
As soon as I got behind the wheel of my white horse, I went crazy. . .
If you visit England and also drive, the same feeling will befall you. At least the first time. In their country, car traffic is on the left side, not like ours, and the steering wheel in a car is on the right side. What is driving a car completely in reverse? Well. . . Try eating with your fork or spoon in your left hand. The same! It turns out to eat, but fuck, how inconvenient.
Absolutely identical and on the road there. You drive along an unusual side, at traffic lights - everything is the other way around, God forbid there is a roundabout, and there are a lot of such intersections... Speed u200bu200bis in miles, not kilometers, and I also had a car with a manual transmission; accordingly, gear shifting is on the left. Horror. It's good that the gas and brake pedals haven't been swapped yet, it would have been a complete armageddon then!
In general, it was night, and I decided to go. . . To London itself, and preferably closer to the center. . .
You know, their mentality is different from ours. For all the time I was driving a car, I only saw a few times that I was overtaken. No, I'm not a racer, I was interested in seeing the places where I was, and I drove at least 1000 km, so it was not in my interests to rush on the road. Of course, once in the capital of Great Britain, I moved smoothly, looking at the old and dirty historical sights. It was night outside the window, about 2 hours, and I overcame small streets with pleasure, and slowly. Seeing that behind me at such a late hour I gathered about a dozen cars that cannot overtake even in the prescribed places, I decided to let them pass, well, like in Russia trucks are made on the highway when they cannot go fast. At the bus stops, I started hugging the sidewalk, slowing down. As you understand, no one decided to get ahead of me, the cars crowded behind, and when I saw flashing lights in the distance, I immediately realized that the cops were rushing for my soul. With a screech, with a siren howling, a blue-and-white BMW X5 cut me off and I obediently stopped, preparing to speak in a language I did not understand...
Guys and girls, remember, our Russian DPS nicknames are cuties compared to English ones. If you are stopped by the servants of the law, in no case try to take the initiative, but strictly follow their commands without any initiative, then you will not be put on the hood of a car, as in American films. It almost threatened me, because I had absolutely no idea what the two huge evil policemen were talking about, and of course they didn’t know what I wanted to explain to them. In general, rummaging through the car and my bags, not finding drugs and weapons, they told me that I was drunk, because I drive the car not on a straight path, but wagging. I had to "breathe" to check, and I remembered with pleasure that I still did not try the Prague beer. Then I explained as best I could that I've only been driving for 40 minutes and I don't understand why the traffic is so weird, and so on. The police compared my words with all the documents on the car, believed me, shook their finger menacingly, said not to drive “like this” anymore, showing a “fish” with their palm, and sped off, and I sighed so relieved that I realized that I was hungry and needed to eat .
Gourmets, eating in England is not cheap compared to our prices; especially in London itself, although you will eat completely different food. There, in general, everything is an order of magnitude more expensive. The same fuel for a car costs about 100 rubles per liter, and parking for a car costs at least 400 rubles per hour. In central London, not far from Big Ben, I managed to park for almost 2000 "us" in 60 minutes, and that's fine. So, in Moscow, paid parking is ridiculous. For reference, I also traveled by public transport. So, a trip to the metro with Russian money is 500 rubles, an electric train from one airport to another - 2500. Get ready to spend.
But it's interesting.
In England, things are different. This is indeed a country of conservative buildings, where there are many castles and old-style houses. I drove through many different places, visited villages, and I’ll tell you that the British know the price of land, and since we have it, you can’t easily park in a desert area - there are fences and signs with the inscription “private property” everywhere. What is surprising, even in the most remote wilderness, where I had to climb on the road to the English Sea (as I called the English Channel all the time), everywhere, along the road, green spaces are very neatly cut - exactly to the nearest centimeter. In this European country, hairdressing services for the bushes are carried out by special services.
In general, it seemed to me that this country is ideal for pensioners (I don’t take London into account), everything is so neat, calm and clean. It's amazing, but the cars are all washed and shiny in the sun, like new, despite the fact that the cheapest car wash is 1000 rubles (our money). It is clear that, as Olesya told me, in the Kingdom of England, road asphalt is laid according to a special technology, and the earth does not fall on the roadway, respectively, without polluting pedestrian and automobile areas, but it is still typical for local residents to keep their property clean and tidy . You know how nice it is to see an incredibly green lawn, or contrasting gray fields, like in the picture. But this is not a painted landscape - it's alive!
Stop-stop-stop, I shouted to myself on the outskirts of London, when I saw a live fox crossing the night roadway, - this cannot be, and reached for the camera, but it was too late, the beauty slipped away, and I disappointedly photographed the trash can. You won't see anything like this again, I thought, and I was wrong. I met foxes 15 more times both in London itself and on the outskirts, as well as roe deer, squirrels, hares, raccoons... They have these animals, like in Russia - cats and dogs - everywhere.
I also once went to the sea, which actually turned out to be the English Channel, which flows into the Atlantic Ocean, and when I arrived in Brighton Beach, I really tasted it. Yes, it was a salty sea, and the town of Brighton itself is very beautiful, fresh and colorful.
Of course, I was pleased to visit Saint Hill Manor, where my friend, comrade and brother in philosophical views, L. Ron Hubbard, once lived, and walked around the expanses of the renovated villa with pleasure. From there, I brought 4 acorns to Russia - the fruits of a huge tree, near which LRH himself walked for many years, and now these acorns are trying to sprout in my refrigerator. I studied the technology of growing English oaks, and what will come of it is not clear to me yet. I hope - trees : )
And once, I woke up in my hotel room at 8 am. Of course, I planned to wake up early that morning, but it happened not under the whisper of the leaves outside the window, but under the howl of a siren. Damn, what have I done again? - the first thought flashed through me, - the siren howled from all sides, and did not stop. I got up and went. It was buzzing not only in my head, but everywhere. I had to reconnoiter the situation, I went out into the corridor in my shorts, the door slammed shut behind me, the electronic key, as well as the clothes, of course, were locked inside. . .
And what to do? I went barefoot in search of the concierge savior, and I no longer cared about the siren, I cared about my appearance. I found the necessary girl, she smiled, said that the alarm went off in the next room, where the guest lit a cigarette in the wrong place, and opened the door with her key. So I was a little bit in the shoes of Shurik from the old Soviet movie.
England has become a country of contrasts for me, where an energy drink for a person costs 20 of our money, and an energy drink for a car costs 100, where people are ready to say “sorry” to an ordinary person 10 times for absolutely (in my opinion) for no reason, and a representative cortege with flashing lights skip with pleasure. A country where 15 out of 20 radio stations are in Arabic, and even English-language music is somehow not very good. The stores where American iPhones are cheap and Reebok sneakers (a real English company) are sky-high expensive and purely Chinese are also amazing. In general, I did not understand much, but for a change it is worth visiting there. Do I want to go back to the UK again? Probably not.
And one more guy showed me a "fake". Such a fat, Englishman, when, like, I didn’t let his car pass, but quickly overtaking it, I stood in front of him. This hurt his pride so much that he cursed and cursed, then got out of the car and began to show me the “fake”. It would have been possible to quarrel with him, for the sake of entertainment, but for some reason I decided that the language barrier would interfere with us anyway, and the altercation was never completed.
I just didn't manage to fly away from London. The situation arose at Luton airport, where I, as expected, stood in all the queues, went through all visa controls, and just before boarding the plane, they didn’t let me in there, escorted me out of the airport.
- What's the matter? I asked.
- You don't have a Schengen visa, the Indian girl answered me.
- I don't need a visa, as I have a transfer at the Budapest airport, and I don't need to change the terminal, - I retorted, knowing the airplane laws.
But, apparently, the Wizzair airline, which was supposed to transfer me from London to Moscow through Hungary, had its own rules, so they didn’t let me on board the airliner alone, and then they didn’t return a penny. Even the Kiwi. com ticket service, through which I purchased tickets, did not help. In general, again kidalovo clean water. Although you just need to know the laws and rules well, and in general I don’t get offended much, but still, it’s somehow annoying.
And again, in the dark, I found myself on the street, in some incomprehensible situations, although I had to rush to Moscow at a speed of 980 km per hour.
My good korephanchik helped me, Alexey, the owner of the Ross-Tour Desnogorsk tour company, who, straight from Moscow, in the middle of the night, began to look for a ticket to Mother Russia. To be honest, I would not fly on the only possible emergency expensive options, but I had to rush to the rock festival "We AGAINST! ", of which I was a co-organizer and art director, so hello Heathrow, and Aeroflot...
You know, for the only time in my life I didn't film a plane taking off. I usually do this all the time. This time I thought - well, what to write there - everything is as usual...
NO! If you take off at Heathrow make a video! ! An unusually large airport, incredibly beautiful everywhere - both below and above, I admired for about 10 minutes until the earth disappeared behind the clouds...
Hello Moscow in 4 hours…
Ps. Also in England I met a muse and inspiration for a new song. Listen soon : )
October 2016
® Maxim Filimonov
www. DJFILIMONOV. ru
www. Ze-BRO. ru
www. perevezu777. rf
