Славутич как он есть... Slavutych as it is...

TRANSFER; after leaving the airport, turn to the provo, there in the parking lot of interurban buses there will be a bus, closed, the driver will come only at one in the afternoon, so as not to freeze in the cold you will have to go back to the port, but you won’t be able to sit, there are few benches. By the way, the trolley bus does not go from the new airport !!!
ACCOMMODATION; In an hour and a half you will reach Slavutich, and if you are lucky, you will be placed in the same sanatorium, if not, you will be sent to Mongolia, this is the third building, which the office delicately keeps silent about. The site of the sanatorium, and by bus three times a day you will be taken to the post office, it's a long walk. Then write a statement and move to the main building, cheers, but it wasn’t there, the rooms are small, two forged chairs between them, slippers on the sides... There is heating but it doesn’t work, you have to sleep under the hum of the air conditioner,
NUTRITION; get ready to eat chicken for eighteen days, no beef at all, add. They give diabetics food, guess what? that's right, a chicken and also eggs, chicken, the size of a quail...

TREATMENT; a two-story medical shed, on the first bath, cast-iron, old, obsolete, no ventilation, splashing from a plastic mug, it’s not clear what, no smell, no aroma, nothing, you lie like cancer and boil in boiling water, and if you have a hydrobath, then pay... on the second, a narrow corridor of fifteen meters, aromatherapy, inhalations (only four inhalers, always a queue) magnetotherapy, laser therapy, massage, manual or chair... and that's it, the rooms are cold, you will have to turn on the heating with a scandal. Staff, mother village. There is also mud in the first box, in bags, only one joint on each leg, if you want two, pay, two hundred rubles joint, smear with mud, pay. Bowel cleansing, enemas, none of that.
TERRITORY; good, well-groomed, no need to climb uphill, there is a flat road to the beach, but when you get to the beach, you will find a group of local drunks who are drinking on the beach, there are no benches, everything is spit and littered with a flock of cats who are diligently burying products with a pile of vital activity.
SWIMMING POOL; they don’t have their own, they send them to the next, blue wave, two hundred meters uphill, then up the stairs, they refuse a lot, only three times from 15 to 16 hours, size 15.15 meters. nothing like that, panoramic windows, Alushta is visible from above, chistinko.
ANIMATION; none, in the evening they turn on music, no host, no program, if you want to dance... some kind of home-grown musicians come, arrange paid concerts, 250 rubles. about nothing. . .
RETURN TRANSFER; check-out at 9:15 a. m. that is, with foam in the ass, you need to quickly have breakfast, have time for him to arrive at the airport and stand there until one o'clock in the afternoon !!!?? ? At 11:40 a. m. you will be in the port, so when buying a return flight, calculate everything so that you don’t sit at the airport all day, but there is nowhere to sit there... Taxi 1400-1500 rubles. in three, 500 rubles each . .