Санаторий Берминводы Sanatorium Berminvody

It all started with booking a room, or rather with her attempt. All contact numbers are neatly posted on the sanatorium's website. There is even a special phone number of the ticket sales department. The call was made a month before the expected time of rest. Surprisingly, at the other end of the line no one could say whether there will be free rooms and book a room is problematic in principle. Sanatorium is a mystery. Nourished German well come, there let's see, ie people unaware that can come very far, this firstly, and secondly, as plan their vacation, if you can not accurately tell whether rooms will be or not? The result - booking a room in this resort is almost impossible. He and his wife planned to have a rest. After making a number of calls, it turned out that we forgot to book a room, or rather write down the date of arrival and name.
In the end, we still managed to get some confirmation of booking a room.
We go further, on arrival in Kharkov to sanatorium it is necessary to reach still by a minibus. If you go in the morning, the minibus is packed to capacity with various grandparents and other passengers.

Upon arrival, we found an employee of the sanatorium, through which we booked rooms. In principle, there were almost no problems with the settlement. We just had to wait until noon until our room was vacated, because we booked a room a day after arrival. I will tell at once, the ticket for 21 days cost 4850 UAH. , ie about 240 UAH. per day. This figure includes food, accommodation, treatment. The site has photos of quite decent rooms, not luxury, of course, but normal conditions. As a result, for such money you will be accommodated in the most terrible building of the sanatorium, which is the building № 7. Exactly 240 UAH. there is a place in a double room in this building.
In this case, only the plate with the case number is new. Everything else comes from the USSR, and not the last decade of its existence. The building, and in general the sanatorium itself, except for a few new buildings, is a time machine. Everything is very old and dilapidated, both in the residential buildings and in the clinic where the procedures take place. I haven't seen such a number for a long time: old wallpaper stained with something with traces of crushed mosquitoes and moths. On the ceiling hang some wires, hang with torn nails, whitewash on the ceiling in places peeled, at the corners of the spiders catch flies in the web. Broken switches and flooded sockets. Old lockers with doors that weigh on one hinge. Naturally, there is no question of Eurowindows - old withered wooden frames. A rare radio station hangs on the wall. The bathroom is a separate conversation. It's time to shoot a sequel to the movie "Saw".
Crooked tile with different tiles, in some places there are no tiles, the toilet and sink are a little better than in a public toilet, and this is the image that comes to mind when you get to the bathroom rooms. In the room, bathroom, hallway, just hanging light bulbs in the cartridges on the wires. The room has a small TV set on a chair. The situation corresponds to the staff, just as rude, impudent. Everyone is waiting for you to give him a paw. Worst of all, even after you pay for what has already been paid for in the ticket, the attitude towards you in principle will not change. If you do not pay the doctor - you will be prescribed a minimum of procedures, they may not even appoint a pool. Communication with a doctor should start with a bribe. Civilization and normal standards of service have not yet reached this sanatorium and it seems that they will not get there soon.
It's a shame that there are 3 normal buildings on the territory with normal repairs.

The difference in price is insignificant, but the conditions differ dramatically. These rooms will not even be offered to you, it is also not possible for ordinary people to book them. And we are not talking about the commercial 9th ​ ​ building, but about the same state buildings as our 7. And rest assured, if you have a ticket, you will be housed in the most lousy building, for the trade unions, so to speak. The way out is to go and complain about the conditions. Then, if someone leaves, you may be relocated to a more normal building.
About food. There are 2 options: buffet and meals. We preferred portion: no fuss, everything is calm and civil. The food is not very tasty, but there were enough portions to eat properly. The products are not always fresh. Meat or fish daily. Everything is dietary. In short, the food is more or less normal. Another very important point to consider if you prefer a quiet holiday.
A large number of children are constantly resting in the sanatorium. It's not just children with parents, but children like in a pioneer camp - whole crowds. There is no special care for children: they scurry everywhere in groups, without any organized leisure, smoke in the corners, etc. And most importantly - they interfere with the rest of the rest, as they are left to themselves. In general, you constantly feel that you are resting on the counter in some pioneer camp.
Now one of the advantages: the sanatorium has a good pool, and they let it in according to the schedule, who has it written in the resort book, ie you can swim safely, without fear that some frantic schoolboy will splash a bomb nearby. There is a lake on the territory, where it is fashionable to sunbathe on the beach or ride a boat or catamaran. And of course, a source of mineral water. Everyone praises her, but I have not felt the effect yet. Procedures are also not so hot, a lot of unsanitary conditions.
And the dentist's office is the place to shoot the sequel to "Saw", the first part of which was filmed in the bathroom of my room.
The polyclinic deserves special attention. After some procedures it is necessary to visit the toilet. And so, station toilets are sterile in comparison with toilets in polyclinic of sanatorium.

Another remark - the territory of the sanatorium is accessible to all who are not lazy. Locals from the neighboring village, mostly teenagers, etc. , are constantly scurrying around the territory. I came to rest, not to watch the local crap. Recently, a drunk man, one of the staff of the sanatorium, was lying dead in the grass near the residential building. In general, the situation is not very favorable.
And finally about nature.
The whole territory of the sanatorium is a kind of boiler, in the center of which is the source. The diameter of the boiler is about 2 km. The park is located in this area. It is very difficult to call it a forest. Around the boiler - the steppe. The territory of the sanatorium is an oasis. In some places there are picturesque places. But to enjoy the silence is not very good, everywhere scurrying vacationers or running and yelling at the ubiquitous children.
Well, a new day - new experiences. Learning that in buildings with different conditions, the same prices, I went to the man who settled us and demanded better conditions. After 10 minutes everything was decided - we were offered a room in the 6th building, not so hot, but the conditions are much better. Now let's understand what is included in the "much better". Slightly better bathroom, room with balcony, panoramic window, lamps have lampshades. With water as in all cases - hot 2 times a day for 2 hours.
Cold in theory around the clock, in fact, there are often interruptions: in the buildings give water every other day. In addition, the ATM of Khreschatyk Bank, which is located on the territory of the clinic, also periodically fails. That's basically it. The bed has an inscription with a pen "Vova, Pervomaisk, 1992" It is immediately clear what the minimum period of the room without repair. Well, these are the little things in life. During the transition from the old building to the new one, my medical history got lost somewhere. Without it, no procedures or tests will be prescribed. I had to fight for my own again. Not rest, but running with obstacles. The next obstacle is the closure of the only pharmacy in the sanatorium. Often the doctor prescribes medication. His wife, for example, was given injections and pills. I need a disposable probe to collect bile. Where to get? Nobody cares, you have to go to Kharkov. When the pharmacy opened 2 days later, I tried to buy a probe again.

3 days fed breakfast, and did not bring. In short, once you get to this sanatorium, you have to remember one thing - the patient by definition - shit. And we constantly have to return the consciousness of personnel from the distant USSR to modern realities.
Quotes of the day:
1. In the office of magnetic therapy to the patient's question, whether the magnetic radiation is harmful for the watch, a comprehensive answer was received a la Serdyuchka: "This is your personal prerogative"
2. In the aromatherapy office nurse: "Buy boot covers, or you can pick up anything here"
3. There is a hairdresser on site. After a bad haircut, the girl says to this grief-stylist: You cut me off too short. To which the answer was received: in short, it matters only on the first wedding night.