Gouging man and his birthday in Turkey.
My story is not about Turkey and not about the hotel, there is simply no section "Jokes of our tourists" where this story could be fully placed. I remembered this story last week when I called my trusted travel agent with a request to help my friend in choosing a tour and a nice discount in the price for the selected tour, the counter question sounded in worried intonations, although it was quite simple: ". . . this is not Pasha by chance ?!!!!!! !... ", I neighed and then reassured her with the words: ". . . no, thank God, this is not Pasha! ".
Our vacation abroad is a separate topic, a lot has been written about it, both funny and bitter, but I’ll tell you about my friend, who begins to go extreme even before leaving the country
So: Pasha is my work partner, the guy is very optional in terms of punctuality, but I tolerate him and appreciate him for completely different qualities. His understanding of time is absolutely his own, sometimes it seems
that he wants to stretch the day as a dimensionless value, his words: ". . . somewhere in the lunch area... ", they say that before 22-00, he can not be expected and not disturbed! But unfortunately for Pasha, trains and planes in their schedule of departures and departures do not share his understanding of time! Regularly traveling, I never remember that Pasha arrived on time at the station or at the airport.
The case I want to tell you about - no borders at all!!!! !... So: the month of May, a good time for a comfortable and cool vacation in Turkey, Pasha decided to combine the rest and the celebration of his birthday, invited 8-10 people of his friends and girlfriends. Vouchers were ordered from my aforementioned friend. And now the long-awaited day before the flight, all the invitees, like the right tourists, took their passports and other documents in advance, Pasha, with his peculiar understanding of time and space, decided that he would be in time,
because before that he had a bunch of unfinished and planned things, I really forgot to think about the moment that the flight was at 5 in the morning... and the day before the flight was very busy - work, shopping in search of new right shorts for relaxation , a friend’s wedding... , in general, Pasha got home to his suitcase only at 2 am, taking the suitcase in his hands and patting his pockets, he realized that some very significant points were missing... , in the sense: passport, vouchers, insurance and other set of buazhek necessary for a tourist flying on vacation. At that moment, the extreme began !!!!!! !....At 2 am, I expected a call, because it was agreed that I would take this tourist miracle to the airport, and leave the car in my yard. Everything turned out to be much more interesting and exciting: “. . . listen, do you happen to have my passport and vouchers?... , I didn’t forget them in your car?...... ”, to which I asked:... "did you even pick them up at a travel agency?!! !... ",
there was a long pause in response... then he decided that it would be much more convenient for me to call on this topic, and at that time it would be much more convenient for me, you say call her, I will drop by and we will quickly drive her to the office... ! ! ! I call the girl, thank God I’m in touch around the clock, I raise her on alarm from the arms of my beloved man, who was categorically against opening these arms at the most interesting moment... , she replies that she left the documents to the employee, they are in a safe in a travel agency, only bad luck that this employee flew away on a promotional tour during the day, but her husband has the keys to the office and the safe, as a result of the call to the husband he is looking for, it turns out that he, like a normal person, is sleeping at this time of day and turned off the phone. For Pashina’s great happiness, the girl has the phone of this husband’s mother-in-law, who, for the same great happiness, is still awake, and in addition, as another element of great happiness, she has the keys to her daughter’s apartment and they live in the same house !!!
Imagine the fucked up face of a husband who drank a little more fire water in the evening for appetite and sleeps sweetly when his mother-in-law wakes him up in his apartment in the middle of the night demanding to urgently give the keys to the safe and office of his wife !!!! !...... Pasha leaves, or rather takes off in a car for a girl, goes with her to her mother-in-law for keys and flies from her mother-in-law to the office! It is foolish to think that the doors of a small shopping center, where the office of the travel agency is located, are wide open at this time of the day and await the visit of a crazy tourist !! !... To understand the speed of a car moving around Dnepropetrovsk at night with a driver, and closer in fact, practically a Formula 1 pilot, you need to understand that the distance that you had to drive and meet the time frame is approximately the same as if you drove several back and forth from Red Square in Moscow to the end of Balashikha. . . !! ! The girl then told me
that she buckled up seems to be all the seat belts that were in the car, the turns were passed without slowing down, and another important factor was that the driver was a man who had just been from the wedding !! !....We arrived at the office, it was dark outside and dark in the shopping center, but the guard must be there for sure! They started knocking on windows and doors - zero result! Then the girl recalls that she heard a conversation that the guards, in order to stay awake, play billiards on the third floor at night and therefore they probably don’t hear knocks, they came in from behind and for sure, the light is on, only they still need to get to these windows !! ! For great happiness (another one) there is a fire escape, and then you can get to the windows along the cornice (see the architect who designed this building foresaw the night visit of a crazy tourist through the window to the billiard room... ), Pasha introduced himself as a spider-man and climbed , and then, when he reached the goal and got through to the guards, instead of
to climb into the window, he moved in the opposite direction (probably, as an adult, he entered the role of Spider-Man) !! ! I would like to see the faces of the guards who are keen on playing billiards, to whom an incomprehensible person breaks through the window of the third floor at night demanding to open the doors to the shopping center !!!!!!!! ! So the documents were seized from the safe, the return flight of the car through the night city towards the remote residential area where the girl lives and to the airport, time is running out, registration will end soon!! ! In anticipation of the denouement, I dozed off on the couch, a call with a hysterical cry: "I'm at the entrance, run out faster !!!... " airport and we have time 2 minutes before the end of registration, since the airport in Dnipro is small, and not like Boryspil or Sheremetyevo, Pasha managed to run to the check-in desk! Then some adventures began for me!
It turns out that there are no documents for the car in the cabin, and plus, it was not my rights at home, but Pasha's (during the day he at some point mistakenly took my rights with the documents for the car from my house and left on business), I call , I’m interested in where the documents are, he says: “. . . well, I probably forgot them at home, you’ll come in and take it, only the second keys from your parents outside the city are about 80 kilometers... !! ! I’m moving forward, luck is on my side, traffic cops there is no road, I slept a little and we go by car of a friend for the keys to the apartment (my car is under repair and I supposed to go to Pashina on work issues), 160 km of roads and I am near the apartment with the keys, I go in, I try to find documents... but they I arrange a second search with prejudice, because Pasha does not answer calls...., after a second search, the documents did not appear (but I find working documents that are urgently needed, which, according to legend, were lost somewhere six months ago) !! ! . . ,
Finally, after the twenty-fifth call, I hear a drunken voice who is surprised at the lack of documents in the apartment and puts forward the version that he most likely forgot them in the second car, which is in the yard, only the keys to it are the second from his brother, who is with his parents outside the city... , another 160 km and documents for transport with my rights are finally in my hands !! ! After the night adventures of the travel agent girl and the tourist Pasha without documents, my adventures are a trifle!! ! The travel agent girl now tells this story to colleagues, acquaintances and tourists as a joke and told me that you can recommend me to anyone, but not to Pasha, because she will not survive the second similar story!!! ! Yes, I forgot to say that Pasha's birthday is on May 9th, in view of another holiday on this day, it is understood that our fellow citizens who are vacationing celebrate him vigorously on vacation!... Upon arrival, I meet the birthday boy, get into the car, and ask where his suitcase is. . . ? ! ,
On the way, we bought several bottles of mounting foam and fooled around a little, poured this foam into the exhaust pipes of the most expensive cars, so that these damned Turkish bourgeoisie would also have fun, but in the morning... !! ! , the cheaper numbers were twisted upside down, the girls from Pskov, engaged in pole dancing, showed their skills on the racks of road signs, from which the Turkish drivers were indescribably delighted and created a traffic jam, then tried to unscrew some kind of road sign in order to start collecting road signs. signs of different countries!! !... , the police caught them doing this, they had to leave the gardens and through the fences !! ! , well, the fact that friend Misha does not travel abroad without his big red flag with a large inscription on it "FOR @ BIS" - you yourself know!... , this time Misha was also on vacation, the Russians liked the flag, they rented it and waved it everywhere, and the British,
who were also not fools to drink together and nasharu - they taught to yell this complex and incomprehensible Russian word in unison... !! ! , but in Turkey we did not surprise anyone with this flag, but in the center of Paris a month ago, under the Eiffel Tower, it was much more fun !!!! !... , I ask, where did you rest? , - I don’t know, I don’t remember, it wasn’t before, the town is cool, the hotel is normal, I haven’t been there before... comments, as they say, are superfluous !! !... , most importantly, it was fun and eventful!!!! ! Here is such a story, a participant in which I had to visit! A photo with the mentioned flag under the Eiffel Tower is available, but I won’t attach it to the story, obscene language, however... Have a good rest everyone!
