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5.09. 2020
Arrival. We arrived at the hotel before lunch. The reception in the main building is not big, but it works, in my opinion, very competently. The bracelets were put on right away. The bracelets are comfortable, for the entire stay at the hotel they did not irritate the skin. Check-in at the hotel from 15.00, but the free room was settled earlier, at 12.00. Before checking in, we went for breakfast and sunbathed on the beach.
We also connected to the hotel's Wi-Fi, of which there are two. One works well in the pool bar area, and the second works well in the relaxation pool area. There was no wifi coverage in the rooms.

6.09. 2020

Meeting at the hotel with a guide. The hotel guide from Coral Travel was called Manasbek. He asked to contact him, Manas. Neatly dressed, blue trousers, a white shirt with blue cuffs and a collar, black shoes are the corporate uniform of the company. I noticed one oddity - while talking with tourists, he constantly pulled his trousers up, as if they were falling off him, or something was in the way.
Judging by his behavior, it was clear that the main task of the hotel guide is to sell various tours. From time to time he pestered me with interesting questions, for example, do I write down what he is talking about - he answered that I remember. Or what is "extra" in my understanding? What he was driving at I did not understand. We did not purchase tours from him, as we prefer to travel on our own. He didn't like it and wrote "nothing" on our hotel voucher. For what purpose he left the inscription on the voucher is a mystery. He also said that if I write to him on WhatsApp without a smiley face, he will not answer me. He didn't have to write. I hope I didn't offend him.

8.09. 2020
At 12.00 I decided to go to a bar on the beach. He went up to the bartender and said: “Hello! Two beers. » The bartender didn't like it very much.
In the presence of a guard, he began to tell me instructively in Russian, although before that, when Russian tourists approached him, he pretended that he did not know Russian, that “I must ask, please! »
I watched the Germans come up and order beer: “zwei bir! » Without bitte and dunk…
At breakfast they brought tea in a chipped glass in a chipped saucer. Changed. The staff apologized.
The dining room is a separate story. Everyone eats outside. There are no fans. If you don't sit in the shade, you sweat.
Drinks are served by the staff. When you approach, they say, you don’t need to approach - they themselves will come and take the order. I did not wait for anyone for dinner - I made coffee in the room.
Third day in a row of side dishes, only rice and noodles. From meat dishes - beef azu and grilled chicken legs. No choice.
Salads and fruits are present in a minimal ensemble. On the second day of our stay there was an evening of Mexican cuisine.
To what was added a tasteless hard flatbread with raw peas, slices of vegetables and meat. By the way, when I was in Ramadan in the Sinai Peninsula, they fed better there.

There is a basketball field. Went to reception to find out where to get a basketball. They told the animators. I went up to the animator, asked - he said, in the store. There was no basketball in the hotel shop.
Beach. Beds without mattresses. Many with broken plastic partitions and base. You can swim in the sea only from the pier. The coastline of the hotel is in large pebbles. There were no pebbles on this beach. There is no prepared descent into the water from the beach. Entering the sea and getting out is a problem. Along the coastline, periodically, a couple of people swim. When leaving the sea, a large pebble, raised by a wave, left a bruise on the heel.
Near the so-called beach, a cold river flows into the sea, bringing fallen leaves of trees, garbage, sometimes plastic, and waste products of organisms into the sea. Fresh, not very clean, river water is mixed with sea salt. Therefore, the sea is cold and not very salty. In some places there are warm streams. Swimming in such a contrasting and muddy water is not very pleasant.
Swimming pool. There are three of them, for children with slides, the main one, and for relaxation 16+, in which children periodically splashed. Fecal excretions floating in the pool, as in Egypt, were not observed. There were no sunbeds at the pools. Later, the staff installed some hard plastic loungers for relaxation, no mattresses. So, relaxing on them was a dubious occupation.
• The note. Some tourists buy inflatable mattresses and lay them on sunbeds. After trying to sunbathe while lying on my stomach, on plastic surgery, my knees hurt at night.
Further, sunbathing only on the back.

09.09. 2020
There is no water in the shower on the beach due to damage to communications. Repaired 10 people. Made it to dinner.
The fitness room is open. Two lanes, one non-working orbit track, a press machine, two hand machines, a bench press. Each is allocated an hour of time. Beakers of water and paper towels are included.

At dinner, some staff, and the staff of the dining room, refused to impose food on me, inciting others to do the same, since my nose was not covered with a mask. I categorically refused to pull a rag over my nose in the dining room, I didn’t sneeze like that, and I had no signs of any illness. The temperature was always measured at the entrance to the "eating area", and at the entrance to the hotel.

10.09. 2020
The food situation has changed. Now, they don’t refuse to impose food because of a mask not worn on the nose. And I, already, planned to apply to the commission on human rights, to the UN.
Also, make a request to the Ministry of Transport and Tourism, the Ministry of Health, and the Consulate about the starvation of tourists in five-star hotels in Turkey, as well as to WHO for clarification of the recommendations for the correct wearing of masks.
We ran to the market, which is not far from MIGROS, behind the police station, and is open on Thursdays. It is interesting to watch the sellers, how they pester and invite passers-by. For myself, I did not see anything interesting on the market.
Tourists do not walk in such markets willingly. There are plenty of Chinese clothes everywhere, in any city. Sellers like to say to tourists: “quietly, don’t tell anyone, in honor of the caronavirus ...for you, friend ...there will be a very big discount! »
We bought pomegranate juice, 10 lire a glass of 0.2.

11.09. 2020
We went to Alanya, to the famous Daltamash cave, and visit the fortress by climbing the lift. Then go over the Friday market.
On the way to Alanya, on the bus, an adult Turk began to nervously photograph the interior, swearing with the driver because of the large number of passengers, banging his fists on the driver’s cab, then on the seat, shouting that people on the bus are contagious, and he could die. someone from the back rows tried to calm him down, but it did not help. Like a madman, he ran out of the bus.
In short, about the cave. Divorce for tourists. 20 meters deep, 10 wide. Entrance per person - 10 lire. There is nothing to watch.
Alanya fortress is the same, there is nothing to see. Everything is sad. There are some remnants of walls, mixed with residential buildings, and restaurants, parts, possibly, fortifications. The view from the so-called fortress is beautiful. It would be better if they built a steep observation deck with a cafe.
12.09. 2020

We went to the market in Mahmutlar. Again, out of China things are overpriced. Fruits, vegetables in assortment. We drank pomegranate juice.
I bought a basketball in MIGROS - 40 liras (160 UAH) - an unaffordable luxury for hotel animation.
We went to the KARACA HOME store to look at bed linen.
In the evening I noticed that my gums began to hurt from hard, fried hotel food.

13.09. 2020
We went to Alanya to Cleopatra Beach. It is located from the so-called Alanya fortress, towards Antalya. Beautiful, pleasant place. Coarse sand that is pleasant to walk on. Does not stick to the body. Convenient access to the sea. There are no large pebbles in the coastal zone. The sea is warm and gentle. There is free Wi-Fi, changing rooms, showers. Wide coastal sandy area. There are paid sunbeds and umbrellas, 10 lire each, two sunbeds and one umbrella - 30 lire. There is a cafe. We went to eat. One serving of large chicken shawarma - 15 lira, cola - 8 lira.

14.09. 2020
We went to the hotel hammam. 50 ye – face mask + face massage. For yourself: body peeling + foam massage. Spa representatives walk along the coast, offering services from morning to evening. For drinks.
The set is standard. Vodka, beer, cognac, tequila, something else. There are several types of free cocktails. For beer we go to MIGROS. The hotel took a couple of times, then went small-caliber cups. There are chips in the hotel shop - 2 euros. MIGROS is twice cheaper.
Today is Mexican food day. Some staff in Mexican hats.

15.09. 2020
In the morning we went to Mahmutlar. There are buses 3.1, 20. The fare is 5 liras per person, if the pay pass is 3.50. On the bus, sometimes, there are inadequate people with masks on their heads. It is better to stay away from them, otherwise they might bite.
In Mahmutlar there is a branded basement linen store KARACA HOME. Good thing I didn't buy anything. Upon careful examination of the quality of the seam of the pillowcase, a crooked line was visible, in the best basement traditions of Turkey. The packaging looked good.

I want to add about the dining room. observation. Almost all canteen workers wear rubber gloves. It's hot in the dining room.
The dishes are separated from the visitors by a glass partition, behind which the air practically does not circulate. As a result, natural secretions, in the form of sweat drops, from under the gloves of the dining room staff fall into the dishes. In the so-called dining room, there are no air conditioners and fans.
Today, as it should be for a hotel of this level, yogurt was served at breakfast in broken dishes. There is in the photo.
In the evening there was a day of European cuisine. If anyone does not know, in Europe the favorite dish is sushi with herring, sprinkled with poppy seeds.
Also, in the evening, when it gets dark, the staff walks along the beach, sweeping the sun loungers with a broom, then spraying something on them and wiping them with a rag. Well done.
In the evening they chose Miss Labrand Hotel. Periodically, the clapping of the hands of the animators on the stage did not let us fall asleep.
Also, animists, in the daytime, trade in unofficial sales of CDs with Turkish pop music + video discs (it's good that they are not video cassettes) with advertising of the hotel of the past. Animists can put a hotel guest jumping over the fence of the park dining area, asking them to play a game of Bingo. Once, the waiter scolded the animist for this with a selective Russian obscenity. The game consists in the fact that a tourist buys a lottery ticket from an animist for 10 dollars, and in the evening, after 21.00, from the stage of the Labrand Theater, the animist names the numbers, and then the lucky winner of the Bingo game. According to the animist, you can win a massage in the salon, or something else. Once I saw the winner who won a bottle of cheap red wine.

16.09. 2020
Today was an evening of Turkish cuisine. They cooked Albanian liver and grilled tough beef (beef was excellent in a seedy hotel in Kemer).

After that, on the eve of the Turkish night, there was a parade of several employees of the dining room with torches in their hands, and the leader slammed the lids from under the pan. Some got scared and ran away. A child in a stroller was crying.
After dinner there was a Turkish night with dancing. After five BLUE Laguna was interesting to watch.

17.09. 2020
He hurt his toes on the rocks in the sea.

18.09. 2020
Cheerful night. Someone broke through the window. It's good that the balcony door to the terrace was closed. A shadow flickered. I jumped into my shorts, stood up, trying to assess the situation. The knock did not repeat. He went to the window, opened the curtain, looked - no one. He looked at his watch - 1.20 am. In the morning I went to the reception, to the main building, reported the incident. They said they would look at the CCTV footage and sort it out. I watched the security cameras in the hotel. Lots of dead zones. Basically, the main paths and, in part, the beach area are viewed.
Here is the first floor for you ...Before that, once, someone knocked on the door, but it was during the day, probably, the children were playing around.
At breakfast, again, broken dishes. Twice I came across butter, cheese, in tubes of a non-edible type, as expired, or with improper storage, the date of use is up to 21 years.
I didn't eat breakfast, because after the first bite I heard a roaming taste of not fresh meat in the toast. I drank activated charcoal tablets in the room.
By the way, on a regular basis, some man, similar to a rooster, with a bald head, without a comb, in a red tunic, tight pants, shoes with wrapped noses, walked around the dining room. Sometimes, he wore a blue outfit. Without a cap, which is prohibited by the rules of sanitary hygiene in places of cooking and eating.
A little more about food. Savings on everything, in particular, on the quality of cooking. To save gas, cooking is practiced on charcoal, and a brazier is black from burning.
Therefore, mashed potatoes were only twice in two weeks, although potatoes in Turkey are cheaper on the market than in Ukraine. Washed, large - 2 lira kilogram, or 8 hryvnia.

Orange flush - 2 euro/glass 0.2. For comparison, in Kemer, in, to put it mildly, not the best hotel, den n night, fresh was free. Everything is relative…
I should note that there are also professionals in the hotel, on whom this shed, so far, is kept. There are friendly waiters and bartenders.
Now, about the room… Almost everything has a sea view. Relatively spacious. There are no signs of repair. Beds, comfortable mattresses, U-shaped bedside tables, a table, an armchair, a mini bar, a wardrobe, a free safe, two mirrors, large windows and a metal-plastic door leading to the terrace. Noise-vibration isolation is good, screams, laughter, and burps from neighboring rooms are not heard.
You can sleep well, and this is a plus, which, unambiguously, overshadowed minor flaws, such as a torn dangling curtain, frayed handles, lack of napkins, a yellow air conditioner grate, smeared drilled tiles in the toilet, a chipped slab near the steps to the terrace, a plastic table and chairs burned with cigarette butts . Everything a la light used. For something, a large flat TV is not clear why. It would be better if Wi-Fi was organized in the rooms, and the number of rooms was updated. Toilet. The push with support in the wall staggered slightly - it was necessary to keep balance. The shower cubicle is well-worn. The washbasin with stand is mounted on a wooden frame. The front door, and the door to the toilet, which are blue - probably so that it would be hard to miss - would be better painted red.
I'll write about cleaning. Something was cleaned, somewhere washed. Always left a tip. Swans don't swim in this lake...
About the fish evening ...Frozen tasteless crayfish, frozen tiny tasteless mussels with sand, oysters not opened correctly at the distribution (a tiny piece of meat cannot be torn off the shell) did not enter. About Ala carte… I don’t know, I didn’t record, there were no evening suits. Although, I observed that there is air conditioning!

The only place with edible food is pastries, burgers, pizza, fruits near the main pool. Quickly cooked, neatly served. Also, regularly, along the beach line, the hotel staff plied, conscientiously removing leftover food and dirty dishes. Well done. One day, we collected fruit and went to plunge into the sea. We went out - there were no dishes with fruit anymore. Well done.
Do not forget about the campaign of bearded, tanned, with tattoos, "Jesus", "non-drinking" Muslims, barely standing all day, and screaming in the pool.
About Turkish TV… There were several channels in Turkish, German, Russian.
On the Turkish channel, the same video was played all day with lying people from different angles, around which people in chemical protection run around. You can watch horror movies instead. Yes, pharmaceutical giants, in some countries, have become more influential than the government ...They say that a new virus has appeared, intestinal. Now, they will force you to wear diapers. Without diapers, they will not be allowed into the dining room. But, this is next year ...And this year, only in a mask ...
Do not forget about Uncle Misha and his friend near the turn to Migras. Two friendly junkies, with eternally glassy eyes, selling trips around Turkey, and a hookah. Possibly other types of services.
There is a video on youtube from the liars "Vacation 24" of this hotel ten years ago, when there was still no river channel near the hotel, posted in 2020, as fresh. We rested not far away, in an excellent, neighboring hotel 8 years ago, when the river already flowed into the sea. Be careful when looking at reviews online.
The note. Someone, periodically, cruised near the entrance to the hotel in a brand new white Audi. Then, with a servant, he went into the hotel and gave out instructions at the reception.

The final. About the contingent...Many Russian speakers, Ukrainians, Turks, Germans.
Conclusion. A year or two ago, the Turks complained that Russian tourists were eating them up. They shouted on all channels that the all-inclusive system should be cancelled. Now, I'm sure it needs to be done, and the sooner the better. I refuse to pay for shit, politely address boors, and say thank you.