Нормальный отдых для слабаков Normal rest for the weak

We got into these amazing five according to the Fortune system.
This hotel is worth choosing if:
1. Want to lose weight. You are guaranteed poisoning. For two weeks of vacation, you can count the days on the fingers of one hand without problems with digestion and wasting time on the restroom. And you will finally be able to use your insurance and go to the hospital for an IV.
2. Like to stand in line for plates and hone your skills in rubbing dishes and cutlery. They are not enough for all the guests and they are all dirty (they don’t know how to wash dishes in this hotel).
3. If you don't care what is. This hotel does not indulge in a variety of menus. And sour dishes are a feature of their dining room. Sometimes there are grilled dishes for dinner. But you need to defend them for about half an hour and it’s not a fact that they will be fully cooked.

4. Ready to test your negotiating skills and test your stress tolerance. There is one lady at the reception who will provide you with a 5-star service. Not only is she unable to solve the problems of the guests, but you will also learn a lot about yourself. I will cite as an example only one phrase, “Turn around and go out of here. ” Further, I will not list the entire vocabulary of this cute girl...
5. The number is not the main thing! All rooms are in mint condition. Broken air conditioners, broken chairs and beds, mold in the bathrooms, bad smell in the rooms, broken windows, no towels, torn bed linen, cold shower every day, lack of light in the rooms and in the corridor, etc.
6. The sea is also the main thing! The hotel is not on the first line and not even on the second. There is a transfer to the sea - a small bus takes people from the hotel to the beach and back every hour. The bus is a separate topic . . it is also not designed for everyone. People take their seats 20 minutes before departure. In this tin can there is no air conditioning and normal opening windows. As a result, for the waiting period and 10 minutes of the road, you already need nothing. There are sun loungers on the beach. Killed, but there. Entry into the sea is small between two stone slabs. Walk for about 20 minutes. In the direction of the sea is normal, but on the way back up the hill.
7. Want to learn Turkish or take a break from your native language. Animation for adults in Turkish. And in principle, this hotel is more focused on the Turks. For them, all the music is by the pool and in the bar, the best bits are in the dining room, the alcohol in the bar is not in paper cups, but in glass. And it’s a normal topic when you’ve been standing in line for 30 minutes for food from the grill, and a hotel worker comes with a plate and they immediately put food on him without a queue.
8. You are allergic to alcohol. It is unrealistic to find normal alcohol in this hotel. And it is poured into plastic cups. Often things end. . .
9. You don't like to bother with your appearance in the evening. Dresses, cosmetics, etc. are not needed in this hotel. If you put yourself in order and in this form went down to dinner, sidelong glances are guaranteed. Shorts and a T-shirt are the entire dress code for this hotel.