"Подарок" молодоженам "Gift" for newlyweds

In this hotel, my wife and I spent our "honeymoon", or rather a week. In general, everything suited me, even if the hotel was not very big, even if there was no meat in the diet... Something else upset me, in comparison with which all these shortcomings seemed petty nonsense... On the penultimate night, I woke up from my wife's wild scream. When I woke up, I saw some unknown person in the room, who immediately hurried to the open balcony (we did not close it, since the central air conditioner worked rather poorly). I tried to catch up with him, but he turned out to be more agile and, jumping out through the balcony, quickly disappeared along the ventilation pipe... Perhaps he climbed not for the first time, or maybe not for the last... As it turned out later, this "Mowgli" closed his wife's mouth, which is why she woke up. The guards who arrived later, of course, did not help in any way, and the administrator suggested that his wife imagined it... No one took into account the scratch on her face, as well as fingerprints on the glass and footprints on the pipe, even in the gendarmerie, where we spent almost the whole next day... In short, we did not even wait for an elementary apology... Here is such a wonderful gift for the newlyweds...