1. Don't worry or go to the bathhouse! China-2017.
You think I'm joking?
But no! )
It will be about the baths and hot springs of China. Some of them I and my fellow traveler Nadia visited on our recent trip to the beauties of China. Of course, I will also talk about beauties.
The most beautiful beauty of our trip is the planet Pandora or as the Chinese themselves modestly call it - Zhangjiajie National Forest Park
In general, there were very, very, very many beauties, we moved from one very beautiful place to another, groaned and drove on. And then it was even more beautiful and more beautiful and more... And it's hard to single out something that I liked the most, every day was unusual in its own unusualness and the result was a 19-day, very unusual Chinese trip.
But why was it unusual from the point of view of a reader who has read many similar and dissimilar stories about Chinese trips? How can our trip to China be of interest to someone who already knows almost everything about China?
Baths, of course! )
Little is written about baths, but whoever has been there once will not miss a bath next time, you can believe me. Chinese baths are the most unusual phenomenon) After all, these are not simple baths, but huge washing-relaxing-guzzling complexes. Hot springs can also be attributed here, although there is much less fattening at the sources. But a couple more! )
So, don't worry! Let's go to the bath!
Beijing 2017-05-2.1 day
We arrived in Beijing by Aeroflot from Moscow at 1 am.
Aeroflot arrives at the second terminal, it is not as big as the third, one might even say small) I wanted to change out of my airplane pajamas (no, no, they didn’t give us pajamas, it’s just that I have a special suit for long flights, which consists of light pants and a spacious shirt, I call this suit pajamas for convenience and a certain wrinkling of the image)) into human clothes in some passing toilet, but we somehow came to the exit too quickly. Nadya’s luggage was already floating on the belt, and mine was with me, so we didn’t stop, we still had to take a taxi, because it was night outside, and in general to the bathhouse, but there we still had to undress)
-Taxi-taxi, " the Beijing bombers shouted in English, hoping to catch us in their nets.
And I must say that before the trip, I intensively studied Chinese for 4 and a half months. And although you can’t learn Chinese with a penny, and for the last three weeks I haven’t had time to look up, let alone study the language, something Chinese lingered in my brain.
- Bu yao! - I proudly answered, which in translation into Russian means Don't fool us, we're not here for the first time and we know perfectly well where the queue for a taxi is!
Or rather, it means You don’t need it, but hereinafter there will be a free translation from Chinese, don’t blame me, I haven’t finished my literal translation yet)
And even while standing in line, we had to beat up a lot of taxi drivers who refused to believe their ears and stubbornly approached us, rumpled and pale-faced. Bu yao, dear comrades, open your eyes, we are almost at the front of the queue for a real, cheap taxi and, in general, we are almost already sleeping in the bathhouse.
So we, in fact, came to the question - why did we go to the bathhouse at one or two in the morning, and not to the hotel? Because we arrived terribly dirty tired and the next day, well, at least half a day, we planned to spend indulging in carnal pleasures, all kinds of Chinese SPA, including the above-mentioned fattening. Think of a Chinese bath as a sanatorium for those arriving on long flights. A haven for weary travelers. The last refuge for jet lag victims.
What is in the Chinese bath?
1. Water in all forms. Showers, swimming pools, steam rooms, waterfalls, jacuzzi. . .
2. A place for quiet sleep andwhether watching TV
3. Food. Scheduled, but in unlimited quantities, free of charge.
4. Pleasant interiors.
5. SPA procedures, for a fee.
Specifically, we went to 8 Hot Springs Club
But in Beijing there are many bathhouses and, just in case, I wrote out more in my Talmud, what if this particular one will not work on our day of arrival. But it worked and we moved in very quickly.
You need a passport to check in, as in any hotel. They show the price list in English and Chinese, I recommend taking a picture of it, it was the last place where you saw familiar letters, inside the bath there will be only hieroglyphs. No one speaks English in the bathhouse. But don't worry, everyone understands sign language perfectly. Show what you want and you will be given everything. However, there is internet in the bathhouse, you can always use a translator.
Of course, it is desirable to know at least a few phrases:
*I'm thirsty- Wo Yao hyy seamstress!
*Don't make it too spicy- BU Yao lade!
*I don't understand you!
*Where is the toilet? - Tsesuo cai nAa`r?
My Chinese teacher (how divine that sounds! )) taught me more subtle phrases about the toilet, he said that in China it is not customary to say the word "toilet" in polite society, but all those phrases literally meant "where to wash hands” or “where is the bathroom” and the Chinese in the bath categorically did not understand me.
“Here you can wash your hands everywhere, ” they swelled and looked at each other strangely) But they reacted immediately to tsesuo.
Many times I read and many times I was told that the Chinese would not understand me, but I spoke anyway and they still more often understood than did not understand. In any case, even if these phrases are difficult to pronounce, because our mouth produces completely different sounds than the Chinese mouth, then it is imperative to print them and carry them everywhere with you.
And in order not to get up twice, I will teach you a few necessary words:
A small dictionary for those who are going to China
*I, me, me- Wo
*You, you, you- Neither
*YES-SHY
*No - BU
*Thank you- SES
*Please (in response to thank you)- BUKEQI
*Luggage- Xingli
*Ticket - Phiao
*Hello- Nihao
*Goodbye- Caijien
Hello and goodbye, you don’t really need to know, everyone will understand in English, but it’s worth pronouncing as a tribute.
Surely you will still need words and phrases:
*This is JEge (In the south of China Tsege)
*Location- DifAn
*I'm going (I need to hit it)- Wo chU (it's hard to convey the exact sound here- Wo ch(c)u(u)
*How to get there? - Tsenmetsou?
*What is it called? - Cengmejiao?
*Now- Sengai
*How much? - Duoshaochyeong
*Very expensive- Thai Gweila
*Can I get a little cheaper?
In this way, you yourself will be able to say:
-how to get to this place?
-What is the name of this place?
-I'm going (I need to get) to this place now.
-how much does it cost?
and bargain)
Actually, that's all I needed - addresses and names in hieroglyphs and a short phrasebook for a beginner laova)
Another question is that the Chinese will start talking to you, that is, asking leading questions or answering at length. Only blinking your eyes and a phrase to choose from ThinbudOn (I don’t understand (by ear)) or Buminbai (I don’t understand (nothing at all)) will help here. Then the interlocutor will simply point a finger. Sometimes, of course, not without curiosities. In the bath, to my “I don’t understand”, the restaurant worker muttered to herself: “if you don’t understand, then why are you asking”
“But I understand this well, ” I happily told her)
So, about the bath.
You can't take pictures in the baths.
Of course, no one picks up the phone and on the sly I tried to click at least something, but the photos turned out to be blurry and uninformative. Therefore, I will try to describe all this in words.
After looking at the price list, we got a bracelet key and finally went to the bathhouse. I didn’t feel like sleeping, we still lived at home time, and we took a nap on the plane, how could it be without it. We wanted all the pleasures of a Chinese bath, especially since the staff in Chinese baths does not sleep at night. A flock of sleepless Chinese women flew up to us and quickly changed our shoes, changed clothes, gave us towels and stuffed us into the shower. In bath No. 8, all showers are of an open type, that is, as it should be in public baths, it is probably very old. But everything is very beautiful - showers are niches, finished with light stone, with columns and good washing cosmetics. There is everything you might need - both toothbrushes and shaving machines. There are also combs, in this bath they were just on the tables, in the other - in the sterilization apparatus.
We washed from the path and look back at the pool. And I must say that my imagination, rummaging through the Internet, drew beautiful pictures of many different pools and palm trees around. However, there was a palm tree. And not even alone. But there was only one pool. Just one seedy pool! And he did not work at night. The water in it was almost released, apparently it was just drained.
We dressed in pajamas, which were given to us in sealed form, threw our towels into a huge tank, dried our hair with a hair dryer.
- You can see, - I asked in Chinese and began to look around all the villages. Yes, there was really only one pool and there was no exit to the street, where an open-air pool was supposed to be waiting for us (I read about it with my own eyes! ), There was no one at all. There were two saunas, one dry, one wet, but both did not work either. And that's it. Except for the beautifully decorated boudoir tables and lockers with our belongings, there was nothing else here.
- At 8 o'clock it will start working, - the girls said and began to push us to the second floor by all means).
- Maybe a seagull? - we asked timidly.
- Seagull! - They exclaimed happily and we walked together... to the refrigerator under lock and key. They began to open it, and I asked how much it cost. Prolonged negotiations led to nothing. They didn't know how much it cost.
- The reception will tell you tomorrow.
We got worried. Well, his this seagull, in China you can drink tea for thousands of yuan, such cases are very common.
Before the trip, I read that tea and fruits, and even some nuts, are unlimited in the baths and at any time, but probably it was in some other baths.
Somewhat disappointed, we went to the second floor to go to bed. The path lay through the dining room, the light was on there and the girl was writing something in a notebook.
"When is the food here? " I asked.
-At 8 o'clock, the girl answered us.
Until 8 o'clock there was plenty of time with nothing to do. So we went to bed anyway.
It is very comfortable to sleep in the saunas, but for a comfortable sleep I needed earplugs and a mask. It's good that they were in a backpack, otherwise you would have to go to the reception and ask for your suitcase. Although, I still ran three hundred times to smoke on the street through the reception. I couldn't sleep)
The bedroom in bathhouse No. 8 is shared, it is not alone, it was possible to walk around to choose a place for ourselves, but we were immediately led to empty seats under white hands, without particularly asking what we wanted. Night, people are sleeping, you need to put the new ones to bed as quickly and quietly as possible. The light in the hall is not turned off, it is dimmed, but quite bright.
The photo is not mine, but this is exactly the room
The chairs are quite wide, they fold out into a full bed, they bring a pillow and a blanket right away, there is a TV and headphones. I suspect that the headphones are never processed and the pillowcases with duvet covers are not changed. Well, or they change once a day, and on the same chair a lot of people can sleep in a day, as soon as you get up and leave the hall, your place is immediately folded and it is waiting for another visitor. Armchairs-beds are covered with towels, which are also not changed. Probably it was necessary to get angry and demand, but we didn’t understand right away and then we got used to it) Here are all the brothers, that is, sisters, all washed and fragrant) But in the wet department, where there are showers and pools, towels leave in packs, you go into the pool, throw towel, come out, here's a new one for you. And so at least a hundred times.
I slept very badly, although nothing interfered with my snoring, earplugs did not let me hear, the mask blocked the light from me. Once again I emphasize the need for such a set when traveling.
We woke up early, just in time for breakfast, wandered for a long time among the Chinese abundance, not understanding what was there, scored a little bit of everything and had dumplings for breakfast) We didn’t like the whole food. There was no coffee, no bread, no pastries, food had unusual tastes, repelled by some kind of medicine. It is understandable, two stray laova and a full bath of traditional Chinese - for whom do the cooks work? ). There was nothing familiar at all, except for various dumplings and fruits. But there was a piano! This photo is mine, the only one that turned out more or less. Diffused light does not allow the phone to focus at all.
After breakfast, we went to the water treatments and got stuck there for a long time. The wet steam room turned out to have a chic smell, but you won’t sit in it for hours either. Mostly sour in the pool. A pool without any frills, only one sunbed with a watering can, something like this:
I liked this sprinkler very much, especially when the water was falling in a stormy stream. The water is all hot in the pool, and the one that flows from above. You won't sour for a long time either.
We were about to go looking for a massage or other entertainment, when the workers approached us and offered a peeling. Yes! This is exactly what I wanted!
They are brought into a room, laid on a wet table covered with a disposable sheet and poured with hot water. Then they start scraping you) When I cook pork legs for jelly, I scrape them less intensively)) They turn over and scrape many times, scrape you like a pig, occasionally dousing them with hot water. Then they smear something thick, odorless, then you go to the shower, then they scrub first and smear something again. The smeared one is brought into the sauna and that's it, you can wash it off.
In another bath, this procedure was different.
After such an intensive, the body burns, and the legs cease to obey. Only in the crib, in the crib, your light, airy little body asks. Spatky…
This time I slept like a log, until lunchtime, and I don’t even remember why I woke up. And here they are just feeding! )
Lunch, compared to breakfast, is more plentiful and even somehow tastier. We were in no particular hurry, but again we were half-starved, just having tasted unusual dishes, but not having eaten.
And then we went back to the pool. Having played quite a bit under the streams of water, they went back to sleep... ) By lunchtime, the bathhouse was filled with people. If in the morning we were practically alone in the "washing shop", then in the afternoon there was a full pool of Chinese women and many with children. One pool is very small, probably another bath in Beijing should be chosen.
The third time I did not fall asleep, the massage therapist came to me and gave me the most amazing foot massage in my life.
I don't really like TV, but here it was very helpful. You put on your headphones, turn on Chinese calm music and you are in paradise. . .
On this day, we had booked tickets to the Red Theater, so we didn’t have to lie down much. Waking up Nadia, drying our hair and paying for the pleasure. 198 yuan for a bath, for peeling and foot massage separately about 200 more. Unfortunately, I didn’t write it down, it seems to me that peeling is 65, and massage is 125, but I could be wrong.
It's time to leave.
Remember that the bath staff does not speak English. But translators on phones always help out. Everyone. But not me. I'm learning Chinese. I need to train!
-Call us a taxi, please, - I say to the boy from the reception in pure Chinese.
"WHAT? " he asks.
So that you understand the comicality of the situation, a taxi in Chinese sounds like Chutsuche. Only not in the literal sense of H and C, but very sublimated)
-Chutsuche, tsutsutse, tsutsutse, tsutsutse, Chu! CU! CHEE!!
The girl next to me writes a long sentence in her translator and shows it to me.
-I don't speak English - I can clearly pronounce the Chinese phrase.
The boy's jaw drops.
-What language does she speak? he asks the girl.
She calmly replies:
-In Chinese.
I laugh and repeat Chutsuche again.
- Semyon Semenych - the boy slaps himself on the forehead - chutsuche, as I didn’t immediately guess, of course we’ll call.
Here and many times after, they didn’t understand me right away precisely because they didn’t expect me to speak their language at all, and not at all because I pronounce sounds with a terrible accent and generally confuse words) that you address him in Chinese, his antenna turns on and he understands you! But it doesn’t reach everyone) Either they don’t believe their ears, or I suddenly start having fatal effects of fiction, but the same phrase in different places led to different results. Sometimes their misunderstanding directly drove me to tears to rage.
But the taxi came for us and another adventure of this endless day began.
We needed to Leo hostel, it is located not very far from the Qianmen metro station, on Dazhalan street. The street is pedestrian. The driver drove along a parallel, narrow street, pushing pedestrians and numerous vehicles such as carts. Practically on tiptoe, we rode to the end of the street and back. The driver clearly did not know where he was aiming, so he could not hit in any way)
- Shifu, - I turned to him, in our opinion he is a professional in his field, a master, that's how they refer to drivers in China.
"Huh? " he responded briskly.
It gave me confidence.
- Please call this number - I slip my route sheet to him, where the hostel's phone number is written in large letters.
- No, we'll be right there.
Indeed, he stopped and pulled out our suitcases.
-You go to another street, right there. - He waved into a narrow alley.
The lane, so you understand, is narrow, wall to wall, the two of us with a suitcase do not fit well together, and here the bikes are driven like crazy, until they reached their street, they almost turned gray.
And up to this point, almost before settling into the hostel, I have absolutely no photos, except for the photo of the piano in the bath)
But the hostel pleased immediately) Ancient, all red and wooden. How I love it!
And then they will! Don't switch! The day is not over yet, we will still go to the Red Theater for the performance of the Shao-Lin monks.
