Не все золото, то что блестит Not all is gold, what glitters

We took a two-room suite. We booked and paid the full price a month and a half before the start of the trip. The main thing for us was that it was a two-room suite. When we arrived at the place, it turned out that the room was on the fifth floor of the building without an elevator, with a spiral staircase half a meter wide, and this, for such "buns" like us, turned out to be quite physically difficult. But this turned out to be not the most terrible - the wall of the other room was smoothly modified into a "SHUTTER". Of course, the room is quite large - more than 30 square meters with a wonderful terrace, but it still didn’t feel like a second room. Okay, put up with it - the view is wonderful (and it is really wonderful), but in the morning breakfast (the price is included in the room price). Breakfast for kittens who eat only to hang out - but we are not kittens and a breakfast of scrambled eggs from three sad eggs with a quarter of a tomato and a half of a cucumber, accompanied by "May" tea, we did not count breakfast - fortunately, we all still "puffins". The next stage is WI-FI, it turned out that this at the hotel means the ability to connect to Telecom's wireless Internet through the purchase of a special card at a price that is naturally more expensive than face value. That is, people - avid Internet users who are dozens of sitting with notes on the south side of the hotel, which were mentioned in the reviews, we never saw. Well, God bless them - after all, we arrived at the sea. And then our views turned out to be irreconcilable - instead of our own beach - a piece of space filled with building rubble, ten meters wide and five meters deep, lined with sunbeds with a side-by-side density with how steep a descent into the sea - that it’s time to crawl on all fours ( unless your knees are strong). This is where our patience ended - we demanded our money back, reluctantly, but the money for the remaining days was returned. Definitely - thanks. Perhaps - the vacation that was offered in Santa Barbara has a circle of its consumers, but we are not among them - now we are in a place where there is a sea and a beach, and wonderful nature and real two rooms, and real food and simple sincere people and even white soft toilet paper.