Your rating of this hotel:
4.0
from 10
Hotel ratings by criteria:
Rooms:
5.0
Service:
2.0
Cleanliness:
2.0
Food:
3.0
Amenities:
5.0
Well, let's start, point by point, as the notorious lieutenant Rzhevsky used to say (let's call the story "Fucked up" to make it read funnier... at least):
"Screwed-1", as they say "on the threshold": - the administrator (apparently a stormy night, a lot of wine, vodka and everything else . . ) slept shorter and deigned to "appear" only at 8.20 and then (! ) After an urgent proposal for mobile phone, the fact that the "girl" frankly "hollowed" - slowed down and could not "drive" into the topic, what all these not very rosy-minded uncles, aunts, children and even a dog in a compartment with suitcases and trunks want from her, who, in a friendly crowd, were expecting her "arrival" in the office - this is half the trouble, you can survive... but (! ) - gentlemen, the hotel Ero - this is the "face" (hanger, wardrobe. whatever you want, in fact, work with the client begins for next year).
Screwed-2: Arrived at the room - nothing. it should be noted (yes, by the way, ka-ategarichski... oh... they settled only by 14-0) plumbing, beds, bedside tables, wardrobes on the 3rd floor overlooking the very (oh miracle! ) Sea, everything is in order and more -less by the standards of the Turkish Republic (well, nothing that the ventilation grill in the bathroom with a roar deigned to fall off immediately after the departure of the administrator), and the lid on the bucket, where it was strongly recommended to throw toilet paper and personal hygiene products after using them, constantly flew off this very bucket..... It should be noted that the room is not bad, although I would like at least a miserable Chinese rug to lie on the floor by the bed (you know, we are not used to being pampered with bare feet and on a tiled floor... such are "clearly overstated requirements"), yes, the fact that in the corridor, excuse me, but it smelled with PSINA - that’s also, so - half the trouble, yes, from ElE-ero - this, by the way, is a sign of the "smell of the motherland" syndrome - who served in the army knows what it is... - in short, I’ll explain - when the same sour rag (aka “scrubber”) and into the bullfight ore and in the toilet and in the rooms....
Screwed up-3: went out to ba-alcon, and there - there is a sea horse, it pleases, even the not unknown Mr. Kisilev will not deny this fact, but (! ) - alas, you are unlikely to be able to relax on such a balcony - there are no elementary partitions that fence you off from your neighbors, which, by the way, can also "charge" "top less" and wine with something hot in an embrace with a magnificent wife, in short, individual sex, with... alas, it is excluded, so to speak, "constructively ". . . and this, by the way, is "luxury by the sea" (yes, by the way, whoever ventures into "penguin" I immediately recommend - buy a set of elementary household clothespins, in the miracle suite "by the sea" they, alas, are not there, thanks at least for the rope pulled on). . . Meal time. . . or
Screwed up-4: they came for lunch (for the first time and, as they say, they didn’t order in advance), the answer was dry and simple - we don’t have portions, go to our restoran (“lighthouse” - prices... in short for the wealthy);
"Screwed-5": day two, came for breakfast - oil painting, as they say in Odessa, typical dry ration - bun "ala-wanted to be a burger"), squeaky sausage or sausage, with which you need to have a cool shellac on long nails to remove the peel, "rubber" cucumbers and "sliced" tomatoes ("ala - aunt saves"), tea and coffee - pour yourself... and that's it... and what else did you want for 2200 UAH. in a day? (oh yes - the seagull "pooped" - a "little figure" like butter).
"Screwed-6" ("or how we went to the beach" - a play): they came to such a "beach" - what can I say - you can't see cigarette butts and other things under your feet - this is a plus, although the only one, they approached the so-called "bungalow", like naive Chukchi suitcases threw their clothes, wanted to relax with a bottle of cold "cracker" with grapes and....like a genie, a slinky young aborigine appeared out of nowhere in a branded "t-shirt" with a romantic inscription "delfyn" on the back and a manager-daddy in Ruts and offered to pay something in the region of 290 UAH. for hiring this carpentry and technical architecture of the CPC of nearby schoolchildren with the right to own aJ-J (! ) Until 19.00..... wishing the native "all the best" they moved to the standard Chinese "plastic trestle bed"....and . . well, of course - again the same vigilant "genie" of the local spill with the words - "and this is ALSO paid for here,,, " in short, we did not listen to his "lisp" in the local "Farsi", we spread out the beach "blanket", put our belongings on it and went in the sea...... I wonder - for such grandmothers that we gave away when buying accommodation for 10 days, we also have to pay for the trestle beds on the beach?!! ! (with all that in the neighboring "Birch" - all this and even a civilized, unlike the "penguin" hose, the system of washing feet from sand, free of charge! ).
Oh, by the way, the beach (part of the beach) for some reason turned into a parking lot for small boats belonging to the Dolphin team ?? ? By the way, the legacy of the Romanian occupation during the Second World War was also based there - the local "Henkeil-Wieselshtorch" - a self-riveted "hydro-aeroplane", which, for some reason, flew over the heads of vacationers on sharp turns for days on end (I have a question for "from Elero" - gentlemen, and if this is a "wunderwaffe", despite the diplomacy of the "only pilot on the coast" positioned with enviable constancy over the loudspeaker, it will take and crash on the next turn on people's heads, taking with it the lives of not only the pilot and the "suicide bomber" passenger, who THEN will answer! nicer in general) - greed, gentlemen "hotel Ero" from "Dolphin" is a bad helper....
We are moving smoothly to "Screwed-7" (already losing count) - we came to the most amazing obed - oh! culinary miracle! (the Frenchman who invented Olivier - nervously smokes aside! ) - roast with macarena and... the so-called "hodgepodge team": recipe !!? , you ask naturally - I have it: - just - boiling water there is "dead", pale kind of sausage, a couple of olives from a jar, a little Krasnoyarskaya or Tomato paste and . . from Uminka - a couple of slices of lemon in order to beat off an unpleasant smell, sir...... yes, in this part of "Screwed" it should be noted odious perfectionism the girls "at the entrance" to the canteen (for some reason called the restoran "Laguna") - we came at 13.52 we were greeted and... sent to... in short, the answer of the "wahmistrshi": "Now we have 13.50, we are waiting for you at 14.0...." (this despite the fact that there were empty seats - and it was full, people were sitting and... mind you, while we were standing in the courtyard and swallowing saliva, we came in....though the "watchman" apparently went to relieve herself and a more good-natured girl took her place), well, the fact that the staff in the canteen (I won’t call it otherwise) constantly twisted circles around the hall in order to grab egonki you have an empty plate and what sensations the eating person causes this "stubborn attention" I will perhaps omit.
I will also omit the "wonderful" frequency of cleaning in the room and the change of linen once every five days and the lack of replacement of detergents - that's nonsense, summing up our story "SUCKED" from SEVEN parts (this is very short), I will say this - NO "DOLPHINS" in the future year, and for local hoteliers I can advise normal staff management and a little more generosity, hospitality and hard work...
"Screwed-1", as they say "on the threshold": - the administrator (apparently a stormy night, a lot of wine, vodka and everything else . . ) slept shorter and deigned to "appear" only at 8.20 and then (! ) After an urgent proposal for mobile phone, the fact that the "girl" frankly "hollowed" - slowed down and could not "drive" into the topic, what all these not very rosy-minded uncles, aunts, children and even a dog in a compartment with suitcases and trunks want from her, who, in a friendly crowd, were expecting her "arrival" in the office - this is half the trouble, you can survive... but (! ) - gentlemen, the hotel Ero - this is the "face" (hanger, wardrobe. whatever you want, in fact, work with the client begins for next year).
Screwed-2: Arrived at the room - nothing. it should be noted (yes, by the way, ka-ategarichski... oh... they settled only by 14-0) plumbing, beds, bedside tables, wardrobes on the 3rd floor overlooking the very (oh miracle! ) Sea, everything is in order and more -less by the standards of the Turkish Republic (well, nothing that the ventilation grill in the bathroom with a roar deigned to fall off immediately after the departure of the administrator), and the lid on the bucket, where it was strongly recommended to throw toilet paper and personal hygiene products after using them, constantly flew off this very bucket..... It should be noted that the room is not bad, although I would like at least a miserable Chinese rug to lie on the floor by the bed (you know, we are not used to being pampered with bare feet and on a tiled floor... such are "clearly overstated requirements"), yes, the fact that in the corridor, excuse me, but it smelled with PSINA - that’s also, so - half the trouble, yes, from ElE-ero - this, by the way, is a sign of the "smell of the motherland" syndrome - who served in the army knows what it is... - in short, I’ll explain - when the same sour rag (aka “scrubber”) and into the bullfight ore and in the toilet and in the rooms....
Screwed up-3: went out to ba-alcon, and there - there is a sea horse, it pleases, even the not unknown Mr. Kisilev will not deny this fact, but (! ) - alas, you are unlikely to be able to relax on such a balcony - there are no elementary partitions that fence you off from your neighbors, which, by the way, can also "charge" "top less" and wine with something hot in an embrace with a magnificent wife, in short, individual sex, with... alas, it is excluded, so to speak, "constructively ". . . and this, by the way, is "luxury by the sea" (yes, by the way, whoever ventures into "penguin" I immediately recommend - buy a set of elementary household clothespins, in the miracle suite "by the sea" they, alas, are not there, thanks at least for the rope pulled on). . . Meal time. . . or
Screwed up-4: they came for lunch (for the first time and, as they say, they didn’t order in advance), the answer was dry and simple - we don’t have portions, go to our restoran (“lighthouse” - prices... in short for the wealthy);
"Screwed-5": day two, came for breakfast - oil painting, as they say in Odessa, typical dry ration - bun "ala-wanted to be a burger"), squeaky sausage or sausage, with which you need to have a cool shellac on long nails to remove the peel, "rubber" cucumbers and "sliced" tomatoes ("ala - aunt saves"), tea and coffee - pour yourself... and that's it... and what else did you want for 2200 UAH. in a day? (oh yes - the seagull "pooped" - a "little figure" like butter).
"Screwed-6" ("or how we went to the beach" - a play): they came to such a "beach" - what can I say - you can't see cigarette butts and other things under your feet - this is a plus, although the only one, they approached the so-called "bungalow", like naive Chukchi suitcases threw their clothes, wanted to relax with a bottle of cold "cracker" with grapes and....like a genie, a slinky young aborigine appeared out of nowhere in a branded "t-shirt" with a romantic inscription "delfyn" on the back and a manager-daddy in Ruts and offered to pay something in the region of 290 UAH. for hiring this carpentry and technical architecture of the CPC of nearby schoolchildren with the right to own aJ-J (! ) Until 19.00..... wishing the native "all the best" they moved to the standard Chinese "plastic trestle bed"....and . . well, of course - again the same vigilant "genie" of the local spill with the words - "and this is ALSO paid for here,,, " in short, we did not listen to his "lisp" in the local "Farsi", we spread out the beach "blanket", put our belongings on it and went in the sea...... I wonder - for such grandmothers that we gave away when buying accommodation for 10 days, we also have to pay for the trestle beds on the beach?!! ! (with all that in the neighboring "Birch" - all this and even a civilized, unlike the "penguin" hose, the system of washing feet from sand, free of charge! ).
Oh, by the way, the beach (part of the beach) for some reason turned into a parking lot for small boats belonging to the Dolphin team ?? ? By the way, the legacy of the Romanian occupation during the Second World War was also based there - the local "Henkeil-Wieselshtorch" - a self-riveted "hydro-aeroplane", which, for some reason, flew over the heads of vacationers on sharp turns for days on end (I have a question for "from Elero" - gentlemen, and if this is a "wunderwaffe", despite the diplomacy of the "only pilot on the coast" positioned with enviable constancy over the loudspeaker, it will take and crash on the next turn on people's heads, taking with it the lives of not only the pilot and the "suicide bomber" passenger, who THEN will answer! nicer in general) - greed, gentlemen "hotel Ero" from "Dolphin" is a bad helper....
We are moving smoothly to "Screwed-7" (already losing count) - we came to the most amazing obed - oh! culinary miracle! (the Frenchman who invented Olivier - nervously smokes aside! ) - roast with macarena and... the so-called "hodgepodge team": recipe !!? , you ask naturally - I have it: - just - boiling water there is "dead", pale kind of sausage, a couple of olives from a jar, a little Krasnoyarskaya or Tomato paste and . . from Uminka - a couple of slices of lemon in order to beat off an unpleasant smell, sir...... yes, in this part of "Screwed" it should be noted odious perfectionism the girls "at the entrance" to the canteen (for some reason called the restoran "Laguna") - we came at 13.52 we were greeted and... sent to... in short, the answer of the "wahmistrshi": "Now we have 13.50, we are waiting for you at 14.0...." (this despite the fact that there were empty seats - and it was full, people were sitting and... mind you, while we were standing in the courtyard and swallowing saliva, we came in....though the "watchman" apparently went to relieve herself and a more good-natured girl took her place), well, the fact that the staff in the canteen (I won’t call it otherwise) constantly twisted circles around the hall in order to grab egonki you have an empty plate and what sensations the eating person causes this "stubborn attention" I will perhaps omit.
I will also omit the "wonderful" frequency of cleaning in the room and the change of linen once every five days and the lack of replacement of detergents - that's nonsense, summing up our story "SUCKED" from SEVEN parts (this is very short), I will say this - NO "DOLPHINS" in the future year, and for local hoteliers I can advise normal staff management and a little more generosity, hospitality and hard work...
Translated automatically from Russian. View original
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OTHER REVIEWS ABOUT THE HOTEL
- Absolutely not worth the money spent
- Of the advantages, only a large room and that's it
- If you want to ruin your vacation, this is the place for you!
- No "dolphins" in 2020!
- With more - all is well)
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