Отель для охотников и для тех, кто хочет научиться борьбе за выживание A hotel for hunters and for those who want to learn how to fight for survival

Immediately by stardom: for the view and (partially) the sea - 5, everything else - 1, total - 3.
And now in more detail. Boiled…
The first thing I would like to say, and what I specifically put in the title: this is a hotel for hunters and those who are learning to hunt. Here you will literally hunt for everything: the answer from the people at the reception, the possibility of settling in, the rooms, the possibility of cleaning the rooms, towels (both in the rooms and beach towels), the elevator, sunbeds, drinks on the beach , for snacks, for food in general, etc.

1. Let's start our opus with the settlement. We arrived at about 8 am, they told us that check-in was only from 2 pm, put on bracelets and go for a walk. I understand the rules of check-in, but this is like 5 *, there must be cool service. EVERYWHERE we have been before, we were settled almost immediately. Minus sign, but nothing terrible and criminal, everything happens. We arrive at 14.00. There is no settlement, and when it will be unknown. "Here comes the manager and will populate. " When he arrives is unknown. Sat down to wait. The heat is terrible, there is no air conditioning in the hotel building! Around 15 I went to the local TUI guide to find out at least something. The answer is the same. And the crowd at the reception is huge, everyone is angry, screaming, swearing. Half - those who came, half - those who came to ask for something to be fixed (and there are many of them, there are a lot of imperfections). Closer to 16, some kind of movement begins, but they will pay attention to you, and they will start to decide something for you only if you make your way to the window (and this is not easy), and you will yell and swear for a long time and persistently. There is no place for intellectuals here. After another half hour of waiting, I could not stand it and also began to yell and swear. And about a miracle! Literally in 20 minutes everything was decided! It cost a lot of nerves, several hours in the heat, but the coveted number was still received! Somewhere at 16.30!
2. According to the number (don't be surprised), we didn't have any special claims. Everything is very good. Only the refrigerator - well, very small and almost does not cool. And you won’t leave your phone for charging - as soon as you take out the card, everything turns off. And so - everything is there: shower, plasma and even beds : ). Turns out we were just lucky. From many people with whom we were together, and it makes no sense not to believe them, I heard about a huge number of shortcomings: cards do not work, air conditioning and shower too, dirt, stink, etc. But again, we are lucky. Well, who is looking at such a trifle as dirt on the floor ? ! Ugh! It doesn't even count. By the way, a dirty floor for ALL 10 DAYS!! ! no one has ever removed it. But it's the little things, right?
Our friend, who also had never been cleaned all the time, said that she was ready to go to the reception and already ask for a broom and a rag herself, she would clean it herself. It has already come to this.
By the way, digressing, at that moment (somewhere on the 6-7th day) we accidentally met the most important manager of all the main managers of this barn. We explained everything to him in detail in Russian and English. They called the numbers. He began to call with an air of importance, some less important managers came running and promised to do everything instantly. Do you think ANYTHING has been done?? ? NOTHING! So until the end of days, no one cleaned it. Maximum - changed towels every other day.
Sea view rooms are considered cooler and more expensive. But they also go out to the pool, where there is an endless party, and at night their own disco begins like “A glass of vodka on the table” or even worse. As our friends said, closed windows and doors do not save. We had land view. Quiet, calm and cheap.

3. Whether due to the corona, or for other reasons, there is no free access to water. Initially, they give you a bottle in your room, and then you run around bars and restaurants, and pour it there. Very uncomfortable and infuriating, and the night is not always enough. By the way, initially, we did not have this bottle in the room. I had to go to reception and ask for a bottle. This is what happened in. . .
4. Beach towels are issued on cards in the hammam complex on the ground floor. But if you think that they are so easy to get, you are greatly mistaken. They also need to be hunted. We didn’t succeed the first time, they said, come back in an hour. MAYBE they will. In short, the probability of a successful hunt is 50 percent, no more.
5. Sunbeds. . . Oh! This is a different story! This is where the real hunting begins! at some point, somewhere on the 5th day, I caught myself thinking that I didn’t want to go to the sea, because now THIS will begin again.
And it will be like this: when you come, there will, of course, be no free sunbeds in the public domain, you will have to look for them along the entire length of the beach (more on that later), beg from a lifeguard who will do nothing, or just steal. Most of the ones you can even see will be broken. This is not a joke, at least a third of the sunbeds are actually broken. But even if this quest is completed, you will still need to put them somewhere. The sun bakes, there are not so many good places under a canopy, despite what you will see in the photo of the hotel. Maybe not in the season, when the workload is less than half, or when it was designed for civilized foreigners, there would be enough space. BUT. You have to take the contingent into account. There are a lot of people, and darkness, and an army, and this army is for everything... an army. Most of this rati is the genus "scoops", the species "frank", the subspecies "aggressive". From this, so to speak, beach, the Soviet Crimea was arranged. They run out at 6 in the morning, throw towels on everything that “moves and does not move”, and go to sleep or eat... or both at the same time : ). At 6.01 there will be nothing, a dead number.

6. Beach. I don’t know where they found a length of 600 meters there, this is a blatant lie. I didn’t measure it, but a maximum of 200. PONTON IS BEAUTIFUL, I personally was very suitable, I mainly took this hotel because of him. You can jump. No need to break your legs about the terrible visits, which are almost everywhere in Turkey.
But for small children, as well as for those who are not very good swimmers and the elderly, it is not suitable. Immediately great depth. Climbing back up the stairs is extremely inconvenient and slippery.
There is a type of beach for children. I describe: a twenty-meter concrete semicircle sprinkled with TERRIBLE pebbles. It is impossible for a normal person to enter or exit. I almost broke my legs. Immediately at the entrance - huge boulders. The place is vanishingly small. If the waves - break to hell. But Tagil does not spare his children, they splash like crazy. On a small patch, by the waves, right on the boulders. With us, a rescuer ran there several times, pulled out the “wounded”. I called it “suicide beach”. But people are crying. Well, to whom and the "road of death" for nothing. The choice is yours.
7. Sea. In general, everything is fine. Nearly clear and transparent. The wind blows, and the sea is not hot. The fish swim, they are fed, and this is a daily attraction here. Cool. BUT!
Yachts often sail nearby, from which oil stains and dirty foam come. For all the time (10 days) the calm was only 1 time, and then not for long. There are no big waves here. I love to ride the waves, but there are no such waves here. Calm is very rare, because the wind blows from the sea all the time. Total - all the time a small, extremely unpleasant wave, all the time hitting in the face. Swimming with her is very difficult. The water is very salty, if a little gets into the mouth, and with such a wave it is necessary, then it is not pleasant. Maybe, you say, bad luck. Maybe. But 9 days out of 10 is too much.
8. Pools. There are several. The central large pool is hot, a lot of people, and loud music is hammering all the time. Children, oh, scream. Well, not relaxing.

But the remote 2 pools are one of the few that reconciled me with this hotel and pleased the soul. They are located in a cascade at the top, at the very edge of the cliff. There are usually few people there, and the views are amazing. From the top to the bottom there is even a waterfall. Very good place. I recommend. True, there is a minus here too - there is no bar at all, so you won’t get any food or drink here.
9. Bars. As I said, the upper pools do not have them.
By the sea is not a bar, but only a name. It is not designed for so many people. From alcohol - only beer. But alcohol is a strong word. It is absolutely NOT alcoholic. Never even close, neither I, nor my wife, nor my friends felt anything from the beer. And the rescuer, in a moment of friendly frankness, pointed to the beer and quietly muttered: “Don't drink. This is water". Absolutely agree with him. But even this non-beer they constantly lack. If the barrel runs out, no one is in a hurry to change it. And if this happens closer to 4 pm, then there will be no more beer. No one will deliver a new barrel.
In general, almost everything in this hotel you will hear a few monotonous phrases: Sorry, Finish, Nieta, But.
– Ice? - Sorry. - Beer? - Finish. - Rum (tequila, whiskey, cognac)? - Nieta. - Mayonnaise? - But. And he will additionally cut off with his hand to show exactly.
Snacks at the sea start to be given at 12.30, but already from 11.45 there is a queue, and they stand, wait, sweat. By the way, everything is very tasteless, it is not clear why you should stand behind this, but (see paragraph 5 about species and subspecies).
Bar at the center. the pool, in general, is not bad, if you do not take into account what has already been said about beer, and the lack of normal alcohol. Basically, they drink gin and tonic or whiskey-cola. If you ask for a "cocktail alcohol", they can even build something. We gave the bartender (Richard) a dollar a couple of times, so he made us some really good cocktails. In general, they can, if they want. But they very rarely do. And after 23 everything is paid.
Well, the bar in the lobby is something. I've never seen a bar where it's physically hard to sit. It is located behind glass doors in a huge building, which is already hot. There is no air conditioner. It's just a sauna. Moreover, as a rule, there is no ice, so it will not be possible to cool.

Once I asked the girl for a gin and tonic, she poured me a tonic with sambuca. Without ice. If you haven't tried it, try it. I guarantee impressions. Don't take anything from a girl
10. Food. Here you can write a book. But I'm short: HORRIBLE. And here begins the main hunt of this hotel!
In a 5 * hotel for 10 days there were only a few fish. Only the first 3 or 4 days for dinner. Then - as cut off. It makes no sense to hunt her - it's useless.
But that's not the point. The main thing is that there is almost nothing from other food! If you are not an egg lover, there is nothing to do at breakfast. Usually pancakes are fried for breakfast, it is not provided here. One Muscovite made a real scandal and asked to make pancakes especially for her children. They did : ). Soda there was more than half. There is naturally impossible. Refused to redo. At times, even an omelet had to be hunted, but that's how lucky. The probability of a successful hunt is 60 percent.
There is no meat at breakfast or lunch, not to mention other delicacies. For meat at dinner, you need to hunt in the roast. It sometimes happens there, but naturally, it is immediately chosen, and instead of roast, there is just potatoes with onions. The probability of a successful hunt is 30 percent.
I was shocked that even with the simplest products there are problems. Often there are not even cucumbers with tomatoes, and if there are, they are so tasteless that you wonder. It's not even "glass", it's something new in the taste of tomatoes. Aerobatics of bad taste.
At dinner, meat (you will be surprised) happens! But! You need to set up a real ambush on him. There is no simple hunting here. They roast it on the terrace and take it out into the hall every 10 minutes. There is a huge crowd sitting in ambush. As soon as it is put in place, there is a real tear from all sides. After 10-15 seconds there is nothing. Did not have time - again in an ambush! There is also something similar to meat sticks, but it has a very suspicious unpleasant aftertaste.

From fruits - an incredibly tasteless watermelon and a strikingly green melon. Rarely - oranges, but I never managed to catch them in my snares, and I didn’t really want to.
Sweets are a nightmare, but here we must pay tribute to the hotel - this is a common misfortune in Turkey. Well, you need to be able to make such tasteless fatty, stupidly sweet and just no sweets and sell them to everyone under the guise of “oh, how tasty, fresh and brilliant they are. ” People without their own opinion and without taste look at others and believe. In short, there may be one or two species that are not exactly tasty, but which can at least be eaten without disgust. The probability of a successful hunt is 100%, but who needs it?
Of the drinks in the canteen (ah, sorry, the restaurant), the already famous and beloved by you beer : ), not very good wine, from which heartburn, and the local analogue of vodka (either raktsi, or ratski) - I was even afraid to try.
There are no normal juices, only UPI analogues. Children whip, sho bad. With permission to say "parents" chuckle and joyfully encourage this. It's very scary to watch.
The coffee is terrible. The wife said that she had never drunk more vile coffee in her life. The only thing that pleased me was the tea, it is really tasty. Pepsi and Fanta went surprisingly well. Probably because they are cold, and because there is no other anyway. And everywhere for drinks there are long queues.
There is almost nothing normal for children. Everyone is rowing french fries and a strange taste of nuggets, but a child will not eat this for 10 days, and even if he does, what will become of him? And in general, this hotel is not for children, neither by the sea, nor by food. However, I have seen many couples with babies. What they did there, God only knows.
Of the delicious, there was only rice, grilled chicken (if you get it), a kind of vegetable stew, one was like moussaka. That, perhaps, is all.
I was very pleased with the far terrace, it is very beautiful there. At dinner, again, if you successfully hunt for a table, you can sit there very well.

The so-called late dinner is just soup with bread. There is nothing more. After the tour in Pamukkkale, we were late for dinner and tried to find at least something to eat, as we were on the road all day, hungry, tired. Nothing.
11. By the way, do not trust the sellers who will tell you about the time of driving somewhere. Immediately multiply by 2, and understand that you will not have time to go anywhere. In Pamukkale, they told us, it takes 3.5 hours to go there and the same amount back. The rest of the time there - and there will be enough time, at least heaps. And be back in time for dinner. Aha! Certainly! Already three times. We left at 6 am. We arrived there at 12:50. Those. almost 7 hours. We were given 2.5 hours until 15.20, and those who do not have time will get back by taxi. And they didn't joke. At 15.25 there was no one else at the gathering place. I just had to run to the bus stop, we barely made it. Why were you late? 2.5 hours is nothing for the Pamukkale complex, so much is needed only for travertines. We only managed to plunge into Cleopatra's pool for 10 minutes, and we look - there is no time anymore, we need to get out. There is no question of being in time for some other places (an amphitheater and a necropolis), which are several kilometers away and in different directions. They returned back after 22, and of course, they didn’t find anything.
12. Animation. Well, this is a cross between a children's matinee and a very bad amateur performance. For all 10 days, specially invited guests were only once - a dance ensemble. Compared to other hotels - mediocre, compared to what was usually going on there - brilliant. As a rule, it was either karaoke in its worst form, or contests where they try to entertain you at your own expense, straining and torturing you in every possible way. A strange kind of entertainment.
Apparently, there was daily animation by the pool, but we ran away from it very successfully and on time. This is only for very big fans.
13. Elevator. There are 2 tiny elevators for the whole huge complex, which fit a maximum of 4 people. At the same time, the most popular places: reception - on the 5th, canteen - on the 3rd. Just imagine this trash.

Even if you managed to hunt for an elevator, it’s not a fact that you will fit into it (50 percent), and if you do, it’s not a fact that you will go wherever you want (another 50 percent), because. he goes to where he clicked before. Naturally, everyone on all floors pressed. As a result, you can roll on all floors in a cramped, very stuffy booth, and every time you open the doors you will see a reproach in the eyes of people who also wanted to get in there, but no way.
14. View. Gorgeous view, as Mishka Yaponchik said. For this view, half the horrors of this hotel can be forgiven. But the other half is impossible. The general conclusion here is this: everything that does not depend on the owners of the hotel (the view and the sea) is excellent, everything that depends is horror.
15. The territory is large. There are beautiful locations, good photos are provided for bloggers and tik tokers. You need to be prepared to walk a lot. Sometimes up and down
An even more general conclusion: there are several pluses and a huge number of minuses, but the main thing that my wife and I realized at the end: FOR THE FIRST TIME WE ARRIVED FROM VACATION TIRED. From the eternal struggle for everything. Who needs beautiful pictures and does not care about everything else - you can go, I do not recommend it to everyone else.
That's all. Thank you for your attention and smiles : )