Pattaya, Adriatic Palace, June 2008

Written: 22 june 2008
Travel time: 25 june — 2 july 2008
Who does the author recommend the hotel to?: For a relaxing holiday; For families with children
Your rating of this hotel:
7.0
from 10
Hotel ratings by criteria:
Rooms: 8.0
Service: 8.0
Cleanliness: 9.0
Food: 7.0
Amenities: 9.0
EPIGRAPH
This note is about our visit to Thailand in June 2008. I will try to describe our main impressions in a few points ...

1) "WELCOME TO THE LAND OF SMILES! "

It is this slogan (in English) that greets those arriving at Bangkok airport. This phrase turned out to be by no means a publicity stunt and not an exaggeration. Nowhere else have we seen so many friendly, welcoming faces. The first impression is that Thais, like that girl from the old joke, walking without a helmet at a construction site, always smile at everyone !! ! Gradually, we began to catch ourselves thinking that we, too, began to smile at everyone in response - the saleswoman in the store, the taxi driver, the hotel staff and ...everyone we met. Connoisseurs say that Thais can smile with thirteen different types of smiles, expressing their emotions. However, regardless of the type of smile, all these emotions are positive...Buddhists, beat them!

They even have children as calm as elephants - they never cry in the streets! And they don't like to scream (screaming for Thais is a manifestation of incivility).
To be honest, this atmosphere is very pleasant.
Thailand is known to be a kingdom. Portraits of the king or members of the royal family can be found everywhere! On every pole, on billboards, on the walls of every shop. There are facts when little-understanding tourists ended up in prison only because they spoke badly about the king or, for example, managed to publicly tear a banknote with his image. But the Thais highly revere their king, not out of fear of punishment. They have it in their blood! They just love and respect him. And point!
Against the background of all Thai smiles and respect for the foundations of their society, it was doubly ashamed of some of our compatriots, for whom only one definition is suitable - cattle!
This also applies to the daring youth company that unloaded from the plane with filled balloons, demonstrating its nonsense to the entire airport. This also applies to the fingered uncle we met with a toilet gold chain around his neck, who went on excursions only to show his lordly swaggering discontent about absolutely everything. Bitch! Stay at home! Do not spoil the attitude of Thais towards Russians!

2) RAIN SEASON. GY!

We went to Thailand at a ridiculous price for a ticket. Like, not the season! The travel agency told us: "We will not persuade, officially it is now the rainy season. " Good thing we didn't believe it! Thailand is big, there is different weather in different areas. But we understood one thing - you can go to Pattaya at any time of the year! We saw three rains in a week. Two of them lasted for three minutes and did not even have time to really wet the ground. The last rain fell for three hours. At the same time, it was warm, the rain did not interfere with walking and swimming ...
In short, nothing!
However, due to the "off season" in our 33-storey hotel, only three dozen rooms were occupied. Pool and beach - deserted! No one is pushing you! Lyapota!

3) SEA, SUN, HOTEL.


The sea in Pattaya is worse than in Egypt. Due to the constant ebb and flow, it is unclear (sand rises). There are no beautiful corals on city beaches. But our hotel was in a good location, far from the central city beaches and the port area. I can't call the sea dirty. Swimming! Were dragging! And they did not understand the picky people who said that they did not want to swim in the sea. However, for picky eaters, there are regular ferries to the coral island closest to Pattaya.
We had enough sun (despite the notorious "rainy season")! It was hot!! ! And we are not afraid of the heat after many years of living in Tajikistan! : )
We lived in a 33-storey hotel, located very close to the sea. It was called Adriatic Palace (like 4 stars). In the photos, he looks just gorgeous.
In fact, the hotel is somewhat shabby in places, and some of the furniture in the room is clearly of handicraft origin. But we are not picky. The main thing is that the beach is nearby and the location of the hotel is quite good. Of the real cons - the nearest ATM is in the neighboring Pattaya Park hotel, next to the hotel there is nothing but a grocery store. Everywhere you need to go by taxi (100-200 baht, i. e. 80-160 rubles). The only public transport in Pattaya is minibuses ("tuk-tuks"). They are a pickup truck equipped with two benches and a canopy. If you know the routes of these tuk-tuks, you can get to the right place for 10 baht (8 rubles). But we did not know the routes, so we rented tuk-tuks exclusively, that is, as a taxi.
However, we managed, despite the distance, to occasionally walk towards the center and to Jamtien (in the southern part of the city).
At first, I was on fire with the idea of ​ ​ renting a car, or at least a motorbike...
But, having looked at the chaotic local traffic (left-hand and with a bunch of motorbikes on the road), he abandoned this risky idea.

4) I LIKE TO HAVE FUN, ESPECIALLY TO EAT

When we were driving, we heard a lot about Thai cuisine. Therefore, it was doubly interesting to try traditional Thai dishes. The main thing that left a lasting impression - Thai soups. Tom Yam (spicy and sour soup with shrimp and mushrooms) and Tom Kha Kai (spicy and sour coconut milk soup with chicken). Especially the last one!! ! I advise! Just do not forget to explain to the Thais that they put pepper a little less than they are used to. Otherwise, even beer will not be able to put out the fire in the mouth!

5) WHAT DOURIAN STINKS?


A separate song is Thai fruits. There are a bunch of them there! We managed to try only a third of the entire range. They brought rambutan, lychee, coconut, mangosteen, longkong with them to St. Petersburg ...and a few more fruits, the names of which were never found out. Tasty!
Most of the fruits (litchi, rambutans, longkong) inside resemble a large sweet grape with a peculiar taste.
But durians left the most impressions!! ! These are huge spiked fruits, inside of which there is a white-yellow mass that looks like a huge peeled potato. Definitely worth a try! This "king of fruits" has a unique, unlike anything taste and thick creamy texture. But this is not the main thing that tourists remember in durian! First of all, its stink is remembered! Durians smell very nauseating. This smell has been compared to the stink of dirty socks that have been ironed over. With durians, even entry to hotels and the airport is prohibited. The most funny thing is that cakes, sweets and other confectionery products are made with durian. We once ran into such cakes. Not only did the biscuits stink of durian, but the cream on them was not sweet, but salty!
6) "RUSSO TOURISTO - THE LOOK OF MORALE"

When people talk about Egypt, the first thing they think about is the pyramids. When people talk about Paris, the first thing that comes to mind is the association with the Eiffel Tower. But our tourists primarily associate SEX with Thailand. And there really is a lot of it! Nightlife in Pattaya is something!! ! At night, traffic on Walking Street is blocked, it becomes pedestrian. Hangouts, go-go bars, nightclubs teeming with pretty Thai girls are everywhere. You can appreciate the cuteness of local girls, for example, here: http://www. farang. ru/index. php? action=gallery; cat=8
And you can learn more about the features of sex hunting in Pattaya here: http://www. otdix. en/countries/Thailand/articles/42770/
Since we came to Pattaya with the whole family, the following Solomon's decision was made at the family council:
- the three of us with my wife and son just walk along Walking Street;
- together with his wife to visit a sex show in the club "69";
- I can taste Thai exotics alone in the body massage parlor.

I'll start the story with a walk along Walking Street ...Our 13-year-old son was simply not allowed to pass! He was popular. Dad was even offended! : ) If I had to give small things to take a picture with local beauties, then they took pictures with my son for free and willingly (while making fun, like "handsome, leave your parents and come with us"). However, look at the photo report!
And we were also shocked by the abundance of transvestites in Pattaya, "lady-boys" (in Thai "katoev"). For some reason, I thought that I could tell a cat from a girl...Fuck it!! ! When my wife and I went to the "Club 69", I was convinced that there is only one way to find out what a Thai / Thai has in his pants - by taking off these pants! Before us were beauties with perfect oriental features, beautiful girlish figures and ...members between the legs! v=Y7vmdqmbE6A
Actually, about the show at the 69 Club...
Thank God, there were not only girls with male personal belongings. There were also real girls and boys. Some rooms gave away cheap amateur performances, but some could only be described in one word - TIN! There was also an uncle who played his booty on a pipe and with it (booty) extinguished candles. There was a girl who fired ping-pong balls at the audience. Guess where she was shooting! : ) There were numbers of sex tightrope walking, combining sex and gymnastic exercises on the crossbars, rings, etc. We were sitting in the first row (like a VIP seat) ...During the performance, they managed to seat two girls on my knees in turn and fuck them right on top of me. Even the curious wife squeezed the girls by the boobs, checking for "realness". : )
The crown of my modest adventures in Pattaya was a visit to the body massage salon. So!
I go in ...A large semi-dark room with soft sofas.
There are a lot of people, the main contingent is young American sailors. Ahead behind the glass is a large showcase filled with bright light with steps. Doll-like Thai girls sit on the steps. A lot of them. How much - I don't know. I chose the girl at number 152. Firstly, she liked her appearance. Secondly, she was the most cheerful, she did not sit quietly in one place - either she would pinch her neighbor in the window, or wave her hand at me. Well, I don't think I'll get bored with this one! And, as it turned out later, he did not lose!

The manager came up to me. We agreed on a price of 2000 baht (1600 rubles). The girl, laughing and chirping something cheerfully in Thai, ran out and dragged me four floors up to the room. As an honest guy, I decided to get to know her. : ) My counterpart's name was either Nat or Nate. I immediately nicknamed her Natasha. She agreed, laughing. She could only speak Thai and also English (apparently even worse than me). But they managed to understand each other.
First of all, she washed me from head to toe in the shower (not forgetting to rub each toe with a washcloth and even let me rinse my mouth with some refreshing rubbish). Then a beach mattress was laid on the floor. The mattress was covered with diluted foam. They put me on it, filled it with the same foam, and the second part of the “ablution” began, when the young body of the “masseur” acted as a washcloth. I was "massaged" from all sides (this was the longest stage of the entire procedure), then sent to a large bath. Then "Natasha" began rinsing me from all sides of the soap (again, with the help of her own body) ...Prerrryatno, damn it.
After that, they wiped me off with towels and a command like "go to trouble" followed ...What followed was probably quite traditional for any establishments of this kind (including Russian ones), with the exception that they smeared me with some fragrant oils before sekas ...
How much time was available for these my 2000 baht - I don’t know! I've had enough! : ) I didn't time it...And after the end of the "session", I took a taxi-motobike on the way and flew to my wife's hotel to share my impressions.
P. S. For some reason, most of the women whom I told about this adventure ask the same question: "Can girls go there? " Fuck knows ...I think so. : )

7) CROCODILES, SNAKE AND OTHER HAND ANIMAL

There are many animal shows in Thailand! During our few days, we managed to visit only a snake show and a crocodile farm. We watched the snake show not for the first time in our lives, so we remained almost indifferent. But they gladly ate cobra soup after the show! But the Million Stone Park and Crocodile Farm impressed us! My son and I were photographed riding a live crocodile and wandered around the beautiful park with pleasure. Were also on the monkey island, on the island of turtles ...However, see the photo
!

But we didn’t have time to get to Nong Nooch Park !! ! : (Everyone who visited there was very pleased. In addition to the beautiful park with orchids, there is an awesome elephant show! Have you ever seen elephants in our circuses playing football, basketball, darts, riding bicycles, doing back massage to the audience with their legs? there it is!!!

8) FOR THE BODY AND SOUL TO BE YOUNG

Literally at every step in Pattaya you can find traditional Thai massage parlors. Do not confuse it with body massage!! ! Traditional Thai massage is similar to the usual wellness massage in Russia, but it can be done with hands, elbows and even feet. As we were told, it is not so easy to become a real massage therapist in Thailand, because we did not visit massage eateries and did not agree to massage on the beach. Instead, we sent Natasha to "Spa Malika", where (for a hundred bucks, damn it! ), She was indulged with all sorts of flower baths, massages, masks, oils, etc.
Translated automatically from Russian. View original