Swedish chair or walking around Stockholm in 80 minutes
The Swedish capital is known all over the world not only because of the buffet, but also as the center of the universal mind and meet point of noble schizophrenics under the wing of the famous figure Nobel.
Usually, trips to such cities are planned in advance, with great pathos, with the notification of all close and not very close acquaintances, as well as all hated neighbors, so that they do not imagine themselves unknowingly, only because they, see, scraped together dimes from their pockets, wiped to holes and bought the most terrible car in the world - Daewoo Mathis!
And here I am in Stockholm, and even with a bicycle. The poor guy who hit the jackpot at Caesar Palace wouldn't be so happy. The mood rose a little above the “excellent” mark, and the manual meter of purposefulness went off scale. As you understand, only a heavy wind with gusts up to “well, fuck it”, or my wife with a statement in the spirit of “I repeat for the last time! ".
So when, after 100 meters of travel towards the target, the chain on my bike hung lifelessly, like the head of a poor man who had just met with 3 Dive cocktails, refusing to transfer the gear ratio of the teeth from the sprocket to the rear wheel of my chariot, I still for some time he pedaled at idle, and after a complete stop, he ran without a bicycle on autopilot for another 30 meters, driven only by the goal and forgetting about the means. Of course, I had to make a small stop with a break for dirty swearing and parking the pedal monster to the wrought iron gate.
The speed of my movement, after such an irreparable loss, dropped significantly, so there was not a second to lose. I was determined and even if I wanted to cope and need, I would have to do it right on the go.
I think the Swedes would not be too scared, since I noticed that they do not pay much of their precious Scandinavian attention to other passers-by.
So, here it is - Stockholm! At that time, I did not know much about Sweden and the Swedes. Only those basics that any zachuhanny five-grader knows about Karl with corals and the Battle of the Neva and about the fact that the Swedes bend well if "ours" break them. No, please. In fact, I know, of course, more. And about the Swedish syndrome, and about the Nurgberg trials, and about Astrid Lingred with her moderately well-fed imaginary boyfriend. But this is all so, in order for you to understand how favorably I differ from the shabby fifth grader.
Since I was not the first time in cities of this type, I knew that without a map you can find here an excessively hairy devil and certainly not what you need.
Therefore, guided by the map and the shouts of taxi drivers passing by in the spirit of “where are you going”, I laid the route, focusing on the tall objects of antiquity. Of course, I lied about taxi drivers. As I understand it, the Swedes are a very polite and shy nation, and even when I decided without batting an eye to set out to throw a modern stroller with a kinder inside on the bus, my mother very carefully tried to warn me that, they say, she herself has a mustache, and thank you very much, but your intervention is not very necessary. Like any normal Russian tourist, I threw something to her in the spirit of “think about it” and “if you have it, then don’t call me. ”
The manner of dressing for all Scandinavians is the same. They do not really crow at the onset of frost and, perhaps, being afraid of humiliating cries like “girl”, they practically do not wear hats. Demi-season jackets and necessarily scarves.
And the fact that the ears are covered with a frosty crust, they consider a small drawback, which can be tolerated for some few months.
The Swedes are very enthusiastic about learning English, and their pronunciation is superior, not only to their southern neighbors, the Germans, but sometimes even to the English themselves. Nowadays, it even comes to the point that the British, if they want their children to speak correct English, and not the one they crow in some London, then they send them by transfer in the luggage compartment to Sweden, where thrifty Swedes Saved even what does not belong to them.
There are a lot of channels on TV in English, probably 50/50. Also, James Belushi and other former actors are very popular here, working out their big macs in semi-funny TV shows.
Unfortunately, in just a couple of hours, I did not manage to taste the juice of dirty streets and everyday quarters.
A sightseeing tour of Stockholm on foot could only fit into the framework of "from dawn to dusk. " Therefore, those photos that I managed to capture are unlikely to reflect even a 10th fraction of the actual scale.
In fact, the city is large and scattered on a dozen islands of different sizes. Bridges and channels add a special shine to it. Especially considering the possibility of renting a kayak for a river trip. The character of the city is somewhat similar to Copenhagen. The same honed cold beauty. Cobblestone streets, massive palaces and dark spicy streets of the old city are in unison with modern quarters smelling of bourgeoisie and prosperity.
Prices here are moderate, except for three areas: souvenirs, restaurants and taxis. Otherwise, from what I saw, you can’t call it cheap, but it seems to be within the limits of the capital’s markups.
Souvenirs are hopelessly expensive for our wallet, although they are produced, just like for the rest of Europe - in China. I never had to throw the culinary delights of Swedish chefs into the firebox of my digestive machine, but almost all cafes were not shy about setting their prices for street passes. Well, taxis are a different story. 2-3-liter brand new Volvos with DVDs, GPS, RiKiTiKi-TaVi and other victuals gleamed importantly with their identical polished bodies at the crossroads of the capital. I don’t know how much it costs to maintain such a luxurious car and how much the driver receives, but trips are outrageously expensive. Something like 10 euros if you got into the car and it rolled down the hill.
And their drivers can only be envied. Working in such conditions and getting paid for it is just redneck!
I had to jump back on board, because, periodically opening my mouth, I forgot to look at my watch with the same regularity. And here I am galloping along unfamiliar streets, snatching out the names of alleys for verification with the given coordinates on the map.
My not reliable companion was waiting for me near the gate, which I was in a hurry and forgot to fasten with a lock. Although as I understand it among the Swedes, this is considered a rule of bad taste. And only some emigrants from the Lutsk region or southern Turkish settlements can steal bikes.
Photos will confirm all my words, although they will not convey the smell of the former capital of the Vikings and the real capital of local feminized men.
