Велкам ту совок Welcome to the scoop

What can I say. Outside, it seems to be nothing, the rooms too, but upon closer inspection there are nuances.
1. Staff. Stone faces, never in all the time I saw that someone smiled. All the time the feeling that you are not a client, but a petitioner. Is it really so difficult to smile at customers at least at the reception?
2. Everywhere there are guards in suits with stern faces and they stare at you. Like "welcome to the 90s". What do they mean by this? To instill in customers a sense of the seriousness of the hotel and security? Well I do not know. I feel 10 times more secure in a European hotel where the staff are smiling and helpful and there are no security guards to be seen. The highlight of the program - the guard even supervises at breakfast, towering over the mass of chewing citizens.

3. In the room, as in all European hotels, in the toilet there is a suggestion like save nature - do not throw a towel on the floor if you do not want it to be changed. OK. I do an experiment - I leave a towel on the floor. In the evening I come - the towel is removed, instead of it a new one hangs (is it new? Suspiciously crumpled). But! 2 other clean towels dropped on the floor! Trying to unravel the meaning of this performance, I spent a lot of brain resources, but after a couple of days I reconciled - apparently, not everyone can understand the algorithm of the activity of the brain resources of the cleaning woman Klava. This mystery will torment my mind until the end of my days, along with Fermat's theorem and the Egyptian pyramids.
4. A couple of times I used the stairs instead of the elevator. The impression is that I got into a Soviet research institute built in the 80s - clumsy steps, dusty batteries and cheap soviet tiles on the spans. My conclusion that the hotel was converted from some kind of research institute was refuted by the natives, who brightened up the leisure time of a peach Ukrainian in the glorious city of Vladimir - no, the hotel was built from scratch. Well, okay, for sure it was designed and built by the same comrades who design the research institutes, with the same artistic taste - "if it's not in a conspicuous place, then there's nothing to barge about. " The same is true for all technical areas of the hotel.
5. Breakfast - what can I say. There is no need to adopt the experience of the rotten West. Breakfast should perform a purely functional task - to fill the belly. And as for any aesthetic side there, these are the machinations of snickering capitalists. In general, a purely utilitarian hawk, without frills. There are no juices. Instead, "lemon drink" (judging by the taste of water + sugar + citric acid + a drop of lemon essence, as well as "hibiscus drink" - sweet brownish water with an indistinct taste. There is nothing packaged yogurt, cheese, jams. Well, that's right, otherwise tourists would take with them to their rooms, sort of greedy. Well, okay, but there is a kind of curtsey towards European guests - there are fruits, in the form of canned pineapple and abrikov (the cheapest canned fruit in the nearest supermarket? ). thanks for that.
5. And, finally, the highlight of the program is eviction. No, readers spoiled by the European service, it is not enough to hand over the card to the reception and say "I did not take anything from the bar. " This is how you will abuse the hospitality of stupid Germans or other Chukhons in your naive Europs. You can't fool Vladimirtsev on chaff! Having handed over the card, you need to wait at the reception, under the paternal supervision of stern guards, until the floor attendant checks the room for signs of theft of drinks and expired chocolates, as well as towels, and other valuable utensils, and, last but not least, the presence of batteries in TV remote control. This procedure takes about 20 minutes, according to the harsh Vladimir girls at the reception. And at the time of my departure, a group of Chinese of about 30 souls was evicted from the rooms, and I would have to wait for one Buddha water moto. However, being extremely constrained in time (the road to Moscow is a continuous traffic jam, and I have appointments and I have to catch the train), I had to make a deceitful maneuver, and sending a receptionist to lol through a crowd of Chinese like to an ATM (moreover, the receptionist shouted to the guard "Look to didn’t leave! ”), then I quietly teleported from the ATM to the door and was like that.

Summary - if you want a scoop in a beautiful wrapper - wellcame that Golden Ring. If you are not very picky - it will fail.