Behind the facade of Krakow realities

16 July 2012 Travel time: with 02 July 2012 on 07 July 2012
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A brand new raspberry-coloured Airbus descended smoothly over the expanses of the Polish hinterland. Coming in for landing, the pilot flapped the plane's wings for fun and confidently touched the ground. The most accessible Schengen gate of the European Union was only a 10-minute walk away. The best of the best were sent to guard the borders. The selected Polish border guards were distinguished by a frown, distrustful prejudice and an impudent half-smile. The only hint of non-professionalism that could be caught from behind the eye-impenetrable window was the sweeping manner of typing a surname on the keyboard with clear strokes of the middle finger. The line moved slowly. The Polish outpost, frightened by the attack of the Ukrainian beau monde, cautiously examined the passports from all angles, making control copies, constantly peering into the involuntarily contracting muscles of the passenger's face. The filter worked well.

The air smelled of tension and someone's socks.


At regular intervals, selective guests were offered to go into a dark room with their documents. The unknown fate of those who passed was straining, since behind the wall there was clearly not a teleport to Ukraine.

The queue thinned slowly and even the most patient began to break into the toilet for the disabled, since there were no disabled people in the queue. 6 armchairs covered with soulless leatherette obviously could not accommodate the entire crowd, exhausted for more than half an hour of downtime.

Having gaped at the exit from the plane, we ended up at the end of the line and therefore crossed the border in the last rows. The last rows pulled up to the control, about an hour later. Without experiencing the proper delays, we slipped through the control, rushing to the suitcases that were bored without us.

2 turns to the left and we are on the street. An incomprehensibly cold wind, obviously not of the June type, attacked from the northwest.

Having chosen a given course, we actively hurried to the minibus with the inscription Matuzsek, since there was nowhere else to rush to something more special. The airport filled a space of 2 terminals and 4.5 m2. There were not many people, and those that were clearly knew where they needed to go. Therefore, besides us, holding our bags on the run, at that time only one intellectual was noticeable at the airport, who was obviously looking for a bus stop with the zeal of an excellent student.

The driver refused to understand Polish in my performance. And only after I loudly shouted out my last name in the context of indignation, he, with understanding and joy in his eyes, waved his hand towards the open door. Everyone was assembled and the bus started moving.

Immediately, the unnaturally green color of the trees caught my eye. It was immediately clear that they had enough moisture here, and as a token of gratitude, they glowed with a vibrant green tint.


In addition to greenery, wonderful houses along the highway with toy-tiled roofs set the tone for a good mood, something that we can only find in villages with an “above average” income. Usually the roofs of our half-built buildings gape with their bloomed slate roofs of a deep green color, like a molar with their excessively spread caries.

A quality track was easy. Bus wheels gladly swallowed kilometers, having completely forgotten how to react with their calipers to the missing irregularities.

The bus was filled with a diverse audience. An imposing lady was sitting in front of me, joyfully eating a popsicle. At the same time, she managed to exchange accented English with her interlocutor from the Middle East. So to speak, she ate ice cream and talked about the meaning of life.

Behind me were 2 family couple of compatriots.

Some languidly quarreled, and the other couple broke up according to their interests. She slept lightly, and he, burying his eyes in the GPS, quietly prompted the driver when he turned on the wrong road.

An hour later, the bus smoothly taxied to the bus station. When unloading, we immediately felt the cold breath of the cultural capital of Poland. Since we were dressed according to the requirements of the south of Ukraine, the Polish northern meters in seconds were met very unfriendly by our half-open bodies. Fortunately, the bus was in no hurry and we managed to put on some uniforms. Looking back at the car berth around, I realized that it was pointless to look back a second time. The territory was clearly unfamiliar. I had to act, as the great Alexander the Great and my grandfather taught, to navigate on the spot. I immediately mentally thanked Google Earth, which treacherously concealed this area of ​ ​ the city from me.

Although I don’t know how to hide the central bus station. After working on my pronunciation for a few seconds, I asked in the Ukrainian version of Polish what to do next and at the same time asked how much time, since this question sounds too good from my lips. This time the driver understood everything and ordered to sit down. After 2 minutes I saw both Matejko Square and the Barbican and immediately the compass in my head came to the meridian. I found the way forward without difficulty.


The apartment was struck by the stuffing and the height of the ceilings. My daughter immediately appreciated the 2-tiered design of the home and strategically placed her toys correctly. Our arrival in Krakow coincided with lunch time. So it was time to start looking for a tavern.

The choice fell on the nondescript-looking establishment Cyclope, which turned out to be much better than we imagined. The Italian soul of the establishment allowed him to serve good dishes from the Pizza and Pasta and Spaghetti sections.

Were full and eyes and intestines. After such frills with flour products, I only wanted spectacles. And the spectacle, judging by the map, was nearby.

A huge area of ​ ​.2 hectares lived and breathed right in front of us. Young and not so young people strolled carelessly along the granite bedding, which placed on their shoulders, shopping arcades, the magnificent St. Mary's Church, the city's legend, the Church of St. main perimeter. The area looked like a picture, and from which side you take a photograph, any one can be sent with a stamp on the back in the form of a view postcard. Here lived, thought, loved and actively met under the bronze statue of Adam Mickiewicz himself - many hundreds of Krakow citizens and guests of the city. Among which we were now for 5 days.

The beauty of this pearl of the Polish Republic beckoned us with sweet carrots, promising fun, adventure and romantic evenings in the company of ancient monuments and art. For a moment, I had a sudden feeling that being unemployed in Krakow would be much more prestigious and pleasant than working hard in Sevastopol. But that feeling passed quickly, never breaking through the face-control of my prudence consciousness again.

Having devoted the whole evening to loitering and searching for landmarks from the map, we frivolously enjoyed the June coolness, joined the spirit of the Old City and absorbed the moods and smells that flowed from numerous restaurants and cafes.

We decided to have an evening meal in a very attractive and small Morena cafe. At first, for a long time I could not catch the specialization of the cafe, and after that I could not believe for a long time that it was buckwheat porridge.


Since I did not consider buckwheat porridge the basis of my diet, the choice fell on the wonderful national soup zhurek, which for 12 zlotys gave me a feeling of satiety and pleasure. The final chords of the evening were the joyful squeals of the daughter, who joyfully ate the multi-story ice cream, which always brought her into the finest mood.

The first day was worth starting with something significant, and since there is probably nothing more significant in Krakow than Wawel, then he was the goal. On this Sunday, a competition was organized in the park for schools to create huge animals from improvised stationery. Huge three-headed dragons, giant horses and enlarged replicas of insects flooded Plane Trees, as in a Shanghai parade. So until we got to the castle itself, we took pictures with almost every representative of the union of fantasy and needlework.

With a good mood and craving for the great, we entered the territory of the castle. The castle and its territory turned out to be much larger than I expected. Initially, they decided to conduct reconnaissance in battle and snatching some kind of “language” from the crowd to find out how much ruberoid was in Odessa and where the glass container collection point was. We did not come across any accommodating languages, and the placement of entrances and exits took us further and further away from understanding the layout of the palace and the royal plans for building up the palace territory. Time passed, and no action was expected. The daughter was the first to give up, after which she was bought tags with the image of the St. Mary's Church, which for the next 2 hours interested her much more than everything else around. The schematic map taken from the same place showed us the way out of the situation and the entrance to the tourist center.

Having purchased tickets, we began our journey to knowledge about the Polish hierarchy, royal delights and their hostel.


The royal chambers offered the travelers to first of all go through the control, similar to the airport, with the same scanners. Pulling up my family shorts, I fearlessly dragged my team with me. After the inspection, we began to examine ourselves. We were strictly forbidden to take pictures, and even when I, like a cowboy, tried to remove the camera for a picture, there was always some quick servant who, first of all, marked with his fingers a shot from his imaginary revolver with the sound familiar from childhood “Thousand! ". Give up! I was unarmed and forced to return from a photo hunt without trophies.

Having enjoyed the chambers and the “Lady with an Ermine”, we went down to the excavations of the “Lost Wawel”. But there was also a ban on photography. It’s good that at least on the Sodomer tower I could clap the shutter to the fullest. The dragon's cave met us with a winding staircase and the joyful cries of children hurrying towards danger.

The bus left the city limits and tacked peacefully along the outskirts of Krakow, to the sound of a Polish squabble between the passenger and the control ushers. Since the device did not give change, the citizen reserved the right to travel without a ticket, which was loudly disputed by 2 conductors, I demand consciousness from her. Understanding in general terms the essence of the conversation, we entered the town of Velichka. Salt mines attracted both soul and body. And when people began to leave the bus en masse, I realized that this was it. 304 bus gets close enough to the mines, and after going only 50 meters uphill, we found ourselves in a courtyard that accommodates a frantic crowd of people who want to understand all the salt of this underworld.

Doors to the underground realm of salt are opened only upon presentation of the appropriate visit rights, which cost from 49 zł.

Since I had been preparing since the evening, as if for an exam, having learned the main part of the material and writing down the route on a tablet, we did not join the English group, but decided to become related to Polish tourists. After a 15-minute languor, we rushed down the stairs 35m down. The descent was accompanied by the heavy breathing of the followers and the muffled exclamations of the most impressionable of them. After the descent, we were not allowed to hang around the pears for a long time, and, having voiced some security measures (the most important of which is not to press the fingers of the rear passengers too famously with the doors), we were carried away into the depths of the cells, drifts and chapels of devout miners.


The salt world showed us its fully developed areas filled with monuments, figures, halls equipped with chandeliers and torches. Particularly successful was the atmosphere created in the chamber called Burnt.

There, under the arches of the clearing, there were silhouettes of crawling "sinners", especially experienced members of the miners' trade union, who burned out the remnants of methane that arose during the workings with their torches. To heighten the effect, appropriate music is turned on here, and if you lag behind the group a little, you can not badly tarnish your reputation.

The walk took place in constant motion, and only when we reached the chapel of Kingi, especially unprepared travelers could sit on the benches. The chapel itself, 54 meters long, is impressive. Having collected sculptural variations on biblical motifs, enhanced by a statue of Pope John Paul II. The chapel is active, but with such a flow of tourists, it is not clear what hours.

The salt massif is filled with ladders and wooden mechanisms designed to transport salt.

That evening also took place, promised to her daughter, a walk in a carriage with horses. Having agreed on the price, we were given permission to board the compartment. And when I was about to take a couple of pictures of my women's team, some shabby-looking man approached me from the northwest and persistently began to take the camera from my hands. Just like in "Heart of a Dog": "Take a plate from Sharikov. " His face bore the imprint of fatigue and drinking binges, and therefore only after the driver's approving wave did I realize that this was his "boy. " The “boy” in age and appearance resembled the boy performed by Kisa Vorobyaninov from “12 Chairs” when he was accepted onto the ship along with Ostap. But we must pay tribute to the fact that this "boy" was very cleverly catching with a healthy juice the waste produced by horse stomachs. I don’t know where he then removed this juice, but by the smell, apparently not far away.


The next day was devoted to rainy mood and water park. The rain was serious. Under such a lingering rain, it was easy for any unwashed piglet, which for some reason did not get into my mother's bedroom to the bow-legged and lame, with a loose head, to the Washbasin, could easily wash.

But we still decided to clean up the water park. Having saddled the bus we needed, for half an hour we tried to bring a Polish citizen to clean water, who clearly understood our conversation in Russian, but was stubbornly silent and did not allow a word to escape. Having finished this 30-minute hellish torture and promising to return, we got out of the transport. The water amusement park beckoned with water entertainment and children's smiles from the brochures.

Having made simple accounting calculations at the checkout, we paid for the passage with a card and hurried after the noisy schoolchildren.

Our eye was presented with a strict sequence of access to the pools themselves, which was not familiar to us. If you did not complete the previous stage, you were not allowed further. The usual way for me - to change my swimming trunks under a towel and ask passers-by about left-luggage offices - did not work here. I had to watch smart schoolchildren. Having dealt with the double doors of the booths and the magnetic latches on the lockers, we went through the showers to the entrance. Before I could say that the park seemed to be nothing, I noticed how my daughter was already rowing to the middle of the pool. The swimming season in Poland is open.

Having steamed up in the sauna and rolled down the slides, we barely pulled our daughter out of the pool. And while I held her in my hands, she was still desperately running her legs in the air in the opposite direction.

Leaving the park our wishes for success and prosperity, we left with a baggage of emotions and pleasant fatigue.

The penultimate day we fully dedicated to culture and art.

After the confectionery, we were ready to explore the salt of the earth and the meaning of existence of one of the most famous figures of the Polish intelligentsia, Jan Matejko. A full-fledged museum was organized in his house with his paintings, collections and rather prosperous housing and communal conditions.


The next object was the unremarkable Church of St. Wojciech. At the entrance, advertising products were distributed by 2 guys of student age. It was about the performance of famous classical works in 7 violins and small things like 80 zlotys. After we visited the church, it was clear that if more than 20 people came to the concert, those sitting in the front rows would not very successfully cling to the bows of the performers with their noses.

Attention was drawn to the entrance to the underground room to the right of the church.

Going downstairs, we were met by a very interesting character, painfully reminiscent of the guy who all my childhood was accused of eliminating my grandfather with garden tools. When trying to cross the entrance, he asked if we were students or not. Since I believe that a student is anyone who has not yet satisfied their craving for knowledge, regardless of age, I told him about this, bashfully hiding my 6-year-old daughter behind my back. Cauldron was not embarrassed by this, and having withdrawn 2 zlotys from us, he gave us 2 student tickets to the exhibition. The exhibition cannot be called comprehensive, but we still learned something from the history of the construction of the Main Square.

Leaving the exhibition, we wished to climb the town hall, in which we received an unexpected refusal. They say the town hall is also a person and no one has canceled the working day. As a consolation, we got a head forgotten by someone, lying behind the town hall. Apparently, someone completely lost his head from happiness.

We did not find any traces of the owner, so we took pictures without asking.


So the blitz review of Krakow has come to an end. Along with the baggage of knowledge that I have been replenishing since childhood, there will be another record that Krakow is beautiful at any time of the year and time of day. Krakow compares favorably with those cities whose romance is put on the conveyor, and the retouched look in Photoshop is turned to the tourist's wallet. This is one of those corners that gives its beauty and charm for completely sane gingerbread and does not bring shine and pathos to the central areas, so that later it will scare away gates and dirty streets with gaping holes and hostility. Everything here breathes history, smells of candle wax and beckons with an atmosphere that does not tolerate fuss. Krakow is a benchmark of Polish culture and a legend that continues to this day!

Translated automatically from Russian. View original
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