Если б не расстояние - купила бы домик If not for the distance, I would have bought a house

Recently returned from Jamaica. Impressions are overwhelming. Although we were here for the second time, this time is different. The main conclusion is that here you need to relax in a non-all inclusive hotel. I'll explain why. In hotels like Sandals, Beaches, Couples, etc. , you are deprived of contact with the local natives. Trust me, they are wonderful people. And in order to relax “vegetatively” you don’t need to climb so far, it’s not worth spending extra time and money on a long journey. Here ...Well, everything is in order.
I had to prepare for the rest in advance, back in October. Since the middle of last year, Air Jamaica flights to Montego Bay (which we flew in January 2007) from London Heathrow have been canceled, they now fly from Gatwick, and due to problems with the UK, we decided not to suffer with a visa. After an intense search, it turned out that Martinair flies to Jamaica from Amsterdam, and since this is KLM's "girlfriend", the tickets were bought from the Netherlands.
The return trip, with a daily stop in Amsterdam, cost 92.000 rubles for two, plus a Dutch visa, plus a hotel. In principle, you don’t have to get a visa, but you don’t have to leave the airport - Schiphol is healthy, it has a crazy number of shops, there is a hotel in the transit zone.

The next step is choosing a hotel. Bearing in mind that "all inclusive" does not suit us, we began to look for information about other hotels in Negril. And then we were disappointed. In our Russian-language resources there is no information about most of the hotels in Negril, and what is there is somehow not convincing. I had to look for this information elsewhere. After comparing the American reviews with our impressions of the Sandals Royal Caribbean (where we were last year), we settled on Rondel Village 3 *. We booked the hotel through hoteldiscount. ru, everything went smoothly with them, competent people work there, for which special thanks to them.
Well, that's all about preparation. Now actually rest.
The flight is normal, I will not stop on it, everything is clear. The journey there took 20 hours. Arrived on the evening of January 3rd. I contacted the hotel by soap, they sent a taxi for us, the prices are quite divine, they took $ 60 from the airport to Negril, and this is, after all, more than 60 kilometers. Settled us without problems, a room in the nearest bungalow to the beach. The hotel is very nice, cozy and comfortable. Consists of a dozen two- and three-storey bungalows. On the first floors - rooms with a kitchen and a separate bedroom, one in each, on the second and third - two ordinary rooms. We had no kitchen, 006, called "orange". In general, all numbers, except for numbers, also have a “fruit” designation on their doors. Room - 20 meters, with a balcony, air conditioning, and a fan. Everything is clean and relatively new (or just well kept). Rooms are cleaned and towels are changed every day, linen is changed every three days.
As always, one dollar greatly improves the quality of cleaning, but you can do without it. The hotel has been owned by the same family for twenty years, the atmosphere is so very family. The staff is helpful, smiling and quite friendly. Accommodation without meals, but there is a restaurant and a bar on site.
Negril itself is clearly divided into two parts - sandy and rocky. All hotels with the Norman Menley Boulevard address are along the sandy beach, with the West End Road address - on the rocks. Who like what. Rondel Village is very well located - all the green dreams are at hand, to the city center - $ 1.5 for two in a taxi. Taxi in Jamaica is a separate article. For tourists, they break prices five times (if not 10) more. Trade ruthlessly. And it’s better not to take a taxi in a hotel, go out onto the road, wave your hand - everyone stops where there is a place. Here it is customary to plant just on the road, as in a minibus.

About the beach. Super! Sand, soft, white, warm - a fairy tale! The water is clear, you can see the bottom.
The water temperature is not too high, but not cold either, refreshing, but you don’t want to go out. "To the very pleportia. " At the bottom, however, there are “traces of civilization” in the form of all sorts of garbage, but somehow this does not spoil the overall impression. You can snorkel right in front of the hotels, but it's not very interesting. We took a "glass bottom" boat and they took us snorkeling to the reef - great. My husband, who has a categorical "cognitive" allergy to all living creatures, seems to have fallen ill with marine biology after this trip. Now, from the bottom of the sea opposite the hotel, everything that stood out on it was getting. Three different starfish were raised (one I even photographed), a bunch of shells, a towel, and a rusty table knife. After inspection, everything was left in its place. Even after a storm, it sometimes brings grass, along with which various animals come across.
Jellyfish, for example, who sting very sensitively, but in the bar they immediately provide first aid in the form of rum and lime externally. Helps instantly. I also remember a tiny, 2 centimeter cuttlefish (I don’t know how to call a cuttlefish cub otherwise). At first he pretended to be algae, then he blew ink - and fled. Then he pretended to be some kind of crab or beetle, changed color and froze on the waves. When such a disguise did not convince us, he again released ink, changed color to sandy, and rushed to his heels. We did not catch up with him - a child, after all. Stingrays swim along the coast, especially in the mornings. For some reason, their color is also always different, sometimes the color of the bottom, sometimes black with a speck. So don't swim in the dark. The sea itself is not deep - no more than 2 meters, mostly chest-deep. The distance from the shore does not affect the depth very much - near the buoys, to which it is allowed to swim, they are smaller than three meters from the shore.
The buoys deserve special mention. This is important here! White buoys mark the area where boats and scooters are prohibited from sailing. And these "water bikes", driven by smoked or drunk local comrades and tourists, are worn like mad. So sticking to the permitted zone is in the interests of safety. For those wishing to dive off the rocks, there are plenty of opportunities for this in the West End Road area. Most of the hotels here are open to visitors, access to the beach and the "jumping" zone is open to everyone. There are also iconic places like Rick's Café . Here, local young people (it seems young, because you can’t tell the age of the Jamaicans from a distance) people jump from different heights at the request and for the money of the public that gathers for this. Such are the "sea swallows". True, we do not recommend eating in this “cafe” - it is expensive and tasteless. Yes, about food. Jamaican cuisine itself is very tasty, spicy and sweet. Eating is not a problem.

There are a lot of restaurants along the road where you can eat delicious and relatively inexpensive food. We advise you to try ackee with solfish, oxtail (oxtail), goat (local goat), callaloo, Jamaican style fish or brown stewed, and everything that the locals cook jerk (it's all slightly charred, but tasty). According to our observations, the taste of certain dishes in different restaurants is almost the same, so the choice was determined only by price and convenience of location. In the first days we ate three times a day, by the end of the rest - one. Because they are full. Portions are big. If you order one dish for dinner, most restaurants will also bring you soup. Once dinner, then the first one is supposed to be. In the restaurant of our hotel, I ate jamaican breakfast for three weeks, and I didn’t get tired of it - it was cooked a little differently all the time. Separate conversation - lobsters and shrimps. They are prepared here in different versions - fried, boiled, in batter, in shell and without, and. etc.
Tasty, but not cheap, on average, the price of a lobster dish is $23. The fish is fresh. Any. And all very tasty. It took from 15 to 40 dollars per person per day, depending on appetite. From drinks we highly recommend fruit punch, it tastes a little different in different places, you can ask for it with rum, it is very refreshing. Delicious Jamaican equivalent of Malta kvass. Alcoholic cocktails, of course, based on rum, a lot of all kinds of alcoholic drinks - to lift the spirit and warm. And freshly squeezed orange juice everywhere. Juices are carried in bottles along the beach by local "individual entrepreneurs", you can safely buy, we have not noticed any cases of indigestion. On the beach, they generally carry food continuously, you can eat without leaving the sunbed, and many do. There is practically no shopping here, except for souvenir T-shirts and beach accessories. I also want to talk about fruits.
Small fruit markets are located throughout the city, the prices are normal, I won’t say that it’s very cheap, but you can afford it. Local oranges are terrible in appearance - some kind of brown-green, with a hard skin (it is impossible to peel it with your hands, only with a knife), but very sweet. Tangerines, papayas, pineapples, apples - all this is familiar to those who have never left Russia. From the exotic, we tasted sweetsop (these are such healthy fruits that look like green cones) and its various modifications (all sorts of different apples - crosted, some others), jack fruit, oteheita apple. Recommended. This is for internal use.
As for the pleasures of the physical, there are several spas, but when we looked there, we found a price tag equal to twice Moscow's and was a little sad. But then my eyes fell on the handwritten sign Pat’s beauty hut, and I decided to find out what it was. And here's what happened.

On the territory of the hotel there is a plywood shed, in it there are two sunbeds covered with not very young towels, near the shed - a cheerful Jamaica. When asked about the massage, she answered - $ 40, after a short altercation, they settled on $ 20. And the massage is worth it! From hefty aloe leaves, juice and pulp are squeezed onto the skin, massage oil is added there, and the whole body is massaged with this mass, from the heels to the crown. Relax is complete. After these massages, I fell into prostration, which for the first time scared my husband very much - relaxation and lethargy are not my state at all. In short, a massage, and then in the sea, and then on a deck chair ...You forget all the problems. As far as I understand, a massage similar to this is done in all the "salons" located on the beach. Just don't forget to bargain.
About what you can see.
Last time we traveled all the sights, so I will not dwell on them. This time we visited the water park, it was “under construction” in January last year. In general, not bad if you have not been to Turkey and the Emirates. Nobody to the people. Entrance is $25 per nose. Towels are not provided, bring your own.
I already mentioned Rick's Café . Yes, keep in mind that Hedonism II is located in Negril, whose vacationers seem to love to shock the respectable audience, because twice we were taken by surprise by catamarans sailing to the rocks with naked people on board. For some reason, these pebbles are very fond of diving from rocks, where there are more people (usual! ). The show of naked, fat, tattooed American men jumping from a height of seven meters evoked, for some reason, an association with a meat row. Brr! Nude men looked especially funny, but in orange life jackets.
We also went to the holy of holies of the Jamaicans and the main source of income for the majority of the population - to the home plantation of marijuana. Garden. Although for people "using" it is interesting.
The sandy beach of Negril is like a promenade in resort towns, people are constantly wandering back and forth. Most of the tourists are Americans. There are Spaniards, Brazilians, for some reason they took us for Italians, probably for bad English. There are few Russians, mostly our people go to expensive all-inclusive hotels, we also did this last year. There were no communication problems. Pretty quickly you begin to understand the Jamaican dialect, it's warped English. The Jamaicans themselves really want to understand you, so the lack of knowledge in grammar does not interfere with expressing thoughts and requests. Our humor is also quite understandable to them.
Negril itself is a very democratic city. Once it was chosen by American hippies, so the city is hippie in spirit.

On the beach, for example, there were elderly ladies dotted with very risky tattoos. Most of the entertainment facilities are located on the beach. So evening dresses, tuxedos and heels in Negril are superfluous. The only exception is Jungle, positioning itself as “the best nightclub in Jamaica” (no more, no less! ) which is located just opposite Rondel Village. It works Thursday-Friday-Saturday, the rest of the days it is closed at all. Entrance for girls is free, for young people $15. Inside there are two floors, each with a dance floor. The upper dance floor is open air, the music is Jamaican rap and reggae, the lower one is without windows without doors, but the music is more American, familiar from MTV hits, disco, rap, hip-hop, in short, everything you can dance to. There are a lot of people, such a dense crowd. The local population is made up, perfumed, “sexualized” in every possible way. And configured accordingly. Drinking is quite normal. There is even food.
Separately, I want to say about Alfred's. This is a nightclub on the beach, which is shown to tourists for money; excursions are carried here from other cities in Jamaica. Live music (reggae, of course), booze, prostitutes (both boys and girls) and an almost open drug trade. Any. You sit at the table, and behind the dealers are pushing cocaine and, without special encryption, they are bargaining. I was somewhat shocked. Although, talking about Jamaica, you touch the topic of drugs in any way, because it is because of them that people come here. What, the Brazilians don't have their own beaches? Well, especially in winter, Americans have nowhere to go - it’s cold and expensive in Hawaii, it’s also cool in Miami and Los Angeles, they are completely forbidden to enter Cuba and Venezuela. Remain Jamaica, Puerto Rico, the Dominican Republic and other Caribbean islands. But in Jamaica, you can also buy and use grass with almost impunity. So there are a lot of them (Americans).
But they are all very nice people, positive, in a good mood, and very curious.
Excursions are a special conversation. Here they are absent in Russian, although there is something to see. Waterfalls, for example (two options). Horseback riding, a trip to the Bob Marley Museum, the former Green Grotto disco, and a lot more.
All in all, we will definitely come here again. Now to the rocky part. And we all wish the same!