What does a cat do when there is nothing to do? So, after five voyages to Greece (Chalkidiki-Rhodes-Rhodes-Corfu-Kos) and Montenegro (Becici), where everything was fine, we had a desire for diversity, and even raise the level, so we began to look towards Mallorca. The travel agent picked up several options for us, after looking at the ratings of tourists and reading the reviews, we settled on the Club Hotel Tropicana.
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What does a cat do when there is nothing to do? So, after five voyages to Greece (Chalkidiki-Rhodes-Rhodes-Corfu-Kos) and Montenegro (Becici), where everything was fine, we had a desire for diversity, and even raise the level, so we began to look towards Mallorca. The travel agent picked up several options for us, after looking at the ratings of tourists and reading the reviews, we settled on the Club Hotel Tropicana. So let's go.
The Club Hotel Tropicana is located on the southeast coast of Mallorca, in its deepest ass, a quiet retreat from the noise and parties. At the same time, the transfer from the airport is not long, it took about an hour (only 3 families were on the bus, we were the first).
Friendly girls at the counter at the airport indicated which bus to get into, and our hotel guide Svetlana (AnexTour) got on the bus when everyone was already assembled.
After a short story about (myself) about what a heavenly place we (stumbled into) got into, that Mallorca has everything you need for complete happiness, that her phone number is indicated on the booklet, but she cannot answer calls, and it’s better to write on WhatsApp, she, turning on the music, began to closely monitor the actions of the driver, explaining that the Spaniards have a special mentality, and that they don’t work hard, and they don’t even bother with learning English. “Apparently, the driver has not yet been tested, ” we thought.
However, curiosity won out and we began to pester her with questions about sights, car rental, traffic and parking features in Mallorca. It turned out that there are no toll roads on the island, parking is paid only in the center of Palma, where these paid places are outlined in blue lines. This was followed again by a careful study of the actions of the driver, which continued until the hotel.
“Apparently, he wants to learn how to be a bus driver, ” we thought, and did not resist anymore.
- And here is the Tropicana! - Svetlana exclaimed, letting us go to the exit. - We will meet the day after tomorrow at 11-00, tomorrow I have a big day of arrivals and departures of tourists.
“Of course, ” we agreed, “tourists are the main thing, ” and we went to unload our suitcases.
We couldn't say goodbye to our guide. The driver, taking care of other passengers, very quickly jumped into his seat and the bus drove off, leaving us alone. Svetlana (beating the windows and doors from the inside) left without getting off the bus.
The entrance to the hall of the administrative block is decorated with a door made of natural wood. It can be seen that modern Europeans are not used to such luxury and constantly (rubbed against it) used it, as a result of which places of natural wear appeared. But the door continues to function.
An administrator named Joan (Joan? Joan?
) checked us in quickly, put on all-inclusive straps, jokingly tried on scissors to his finger, took money for the resort fee (43 Euros) and for the safe (36 Euros) and told us where to go. The pedestrian non-erotic journey was short-lived, after a hundred meters we stumbled upon our house.
The doors to the room are not as luxurious as at the reception, so previous tourists did not stand on ceremony with them. It can be seen that the glass has changed, and in the care of the guests, it is additionally reinforced with sealant.
The first thing that meets a tired traveler in the room is a fan. On the ceiling. I hung for ten seconds when I saw him. “My happy hairy childhood is back, hello Soviet Union, ” I thought, but my wife brought me back to reality by pushing me inside from behind.
The entire opposite wall is occupied by a built-in wardrobe. Damn, where's the toilet? That's right, (in the yard) in the closet, the right door of the closet is him.
Both the wardrobe and bedside tables are again made of solid wood.
But since these items are different in each room, the traces of popularity are not as pronounced as at the door at the reception.
The safe is locked with a key. On the key is the room number. It is very convenient, if the key is lost, any of the people around can help the key find its owner (and the contents of the safe - its own). The key tags were removed before the day of departure.
The beds and mattresses are adequate, the (dog's) extra bed is almost as big as the (master's) main one.
The water in the sink comes with a true Spanish temperament. During the siesta. Splattering something around is unrealistic. The cistern in the toilet is filled by the evening for about ten minutes. And the float is installed somewhere on 1 / 3-1 / 2 of its capacity, in order to (less clog the sea) save water. Fen? Well, do you remember the Soviet Union? There is a hair dryer. At the reception for a deposit. Return the hair dryer - they will return the deposit. After all, a hair dryer is not cheap, and they can break it ...
The shower works fine, and the water pressure and temperature.
After reading reviews about the Tropicana, we overpaid in advance for a room in the Priority zone, closer to the reception. And, having passed through the territory, they realized that this money was spent irrevocably. Other houses are located really far away. This is not the first line, and not the second, but the eighteenth line of Vasilyevsky Island. Go under the scorching sun to the rise of 600-700 meters. If you decide (suddenly) to go there - definitely a priority sector.
On the map of the hotel, tennis courts are located in the farthest place from the sea. And in the evening upon arrival, and the next day, we went to them (well, it was not in vain that they carried rackets and sneakers for 7500 km), but we did not find them. Puzzled, they went to Señ or Joan with a question. “Know tennis, ” Joan answered… There are courts on the map in the hotel itself. On the sites in the description of the hotel - there is. On Google satellite images there is! In reality, no. Or are we in some wrong reality?
Three huge pine trees grew in front of our house, providing shade both on the "porch" and on the lawn in front of it. Following the example of those around us, we dragged 2 loungers on the gas in front of the room and in the afternoon studied the nooks and crannies of our subconscious not in the room, but in this shadow.
Cuisine, according to reviews, Spanish is good everywhere. Tropicana is no exception. Seafood daily, two types of meat daily, excellent cheeses, wines, sangria and beer (Mahou) are also very good. In general, we ate well, we used the right door of the cabinet according to what we ate.
Here is the first place in my experience where the sandy beach does not contradict the transparency of the water. The beach is a hundred meters wide, surrounded on both sides by rocky spurs protruding into the sea. Sandy, white, interspersed with seaweed, sticks and umbrellas, with a boardwalk. He is cleaned every day for 5 minutes by a local native. What I did not have time to remove (gobies, algae) will remain until tomorrow, will not go anywhere.
Then (at about 9 o'clock in the morning) the aborigine sweeps the sand applied by vacationers from the boardwalk with the help of a motorized blower back onto the lying vacationers, after which he starts collecting (taxes) payment for umbrellas. The price for their use (5 Euros for an umbrella and 4.20 for each sun bed) implies payment (the right to break them, glue them and break them again) for the high service of this beach with VAT deducted to the treasury of the Kingdom of Spain. For all those who do not want to pay to the treasury of the kingdom, there is an option to cross the (sea and rocks) hill and the neighboring beach and buy a folding beach umbrella 200 cm in size for 8-9 Euros and a reed mat for 2 Euros in the shops near the Globales America hotel. And for (especially greedy) people who are afraid of getting burned, like us, the optimal mode is from 8 to 10 at sea, then until 16:30 under the pines and from 17:00 again to the beach.
We swim, dry, and we don’t need an umbrella, and we have our own cover (although, for our unwillingness to pay the kingdom, we stole it from us at night 3 days before departure (the bailiffs took it) right from the porch).
Those who want to swim have to walk a lot. The entrance is very gentle, such a large "paddling pool", up to 30 meters into the sea we walk boldly. But this movement is also curvilinear, because it is necessary to bypass balls and branches of algae floating on the surface (kakuli), pieces of polyethylene and toothbrushes. Yes, the Balearic Sea is rich in gifts. Not only a toothbrush, but also an empty can of motor oil, and plastic bottles of milk, it brings back to people. However, it wakes up late and brings its gifts closer to 11-12 o'clock, in the morning you can still swim. In the evening, you can also, but be careful.
And there are jellyfish. In the very first swim, the son received a burn of 4x5 centimeters in the shoulder from a jellyfish, which only went to the house.
On the same day, another small child (also Russian) received a face burn. Medusa was found, pulled out (and eaten), but then their colleagues were met 3 more times.
Summary of the beach: the water is clean but dirty : ), the service is spanish.
On the 3rd day we saw Svetlana again. Everyone is used to the fact that hotel guides sell tours from their company at horse prices, and even deliver them to partner stores. But no, our guide was honest with us and did not agitate for any (excessive) excursions. When asked if the sea is so rich here all the time, because the reviews say that everything is OK, she grunted vaguely and said that she doesn’t read reviews. She is not interested in them. A wave of envy washed over me. It's great when a person does what interests him in life. And does not do what is not interesting. And the problems of the Indians of the sheriff do not care ...
In general, we ordered a car through her (Peugeot 208 for 45 Euros per day plus extended insurance for tires, windows and mirrors 6 Euros), and said goodbye forever.
As it turned out, forever.
In the reception of the Tropicana and in the village near the Hotel America, car rental is even more expensive.
By the way, about Wi-Fi. It is only in the reception area, and expensive. Half an hour - 4 Euro, an hour - 6 Euro, 15 days - 25 Euro (! ). I was categorically against connecting the Internet for 2000 rubles and getting my son hanging with a tablet on youtube in the reception area instead of swimming in the sea, and 4 Euros for writing messages in WhatsApp to Svetlana without the hope of a quick answer is also absurd.
The next day we went to Palma-Valldemossa-Alcudia on a rental car. There is nowhere to park your car in Palma. We found a paid multi-level parking with a per-minute payment (about 3 cents / min) and went to enjoy the medieval city and Gaudí 's creation. The palm tree is clean, there are no garbage dumps every quarter, as in Corfu or Kos, 20-25% of shops are open on Sunday, so there was no flea market. The cathedral is beautiful.
More majestic than elegant, but impressive from a distance. Nearby - massive heavy walls, and gargoyles sticking out of all the cracks. The entrance is closed with an iron grate so that tourists do not interfere with the local (to distract the Lord from his affairs) to pray. According to rumors, the entrance is only as part of excursion groups and 17 Euros from the nose. However, it is not cheap in the country of the Holy Inquisition of God to distract. Ours is much cheaper.
Valldemossa is a village by a village. Chopin and his girlfriend George Sand were apparently engaged in agritourism there. On the slope of the green mountains, of course, white and yellow houses look pretty (sakli of the mountaineers), but in order to carry excursions there by buses ...And suddenly: on the streets of Valldemossa we saw blue lines of paid parking. I remembered Svetlana, the story that paid parking is only in Palma and only in the center, and she “does not read reviews”. Apparently, not only reviews do not read. After spinning for about three minutes, we found where to park for free, and went to wander.
In the restaurant opposite the monastery, they simply did not refuse to serve coffee and pastries. The waiter, having heard "cappuccino and ensaimades" simply turned away. Truly gallant, he did not shock us with his ignorance of English. But our people in their Valldemossa showed us where you can just take coffee with a bun. A coffee house in the courtyard, on the terrace in the shade of the vines ...mmm ...Pastries (coca de patata) are excellent, even local sparrows climbed right into the hands for pastries. And coffee for four with a minus, and the sparrows were no longer striving for it, which is typical.
Alcudia as a village did not interest us, but we heard about the beach. Not wide (five meters in total), purest white sand, and so - 8 kilometers of coast. The places where the hotels are rammed with bodies tightly, in between - freer. The water is clean and warm, like ours, there is almost no garbage on the surface (of condoms). We swam and went to our place.
The remaining 9 days passed like the frames of a film, they seemed to be different, but similar, the transfer arrived exactly at the appointed time, the Spaniard driver showed the names on a piece of paper, we nodded in the affirmative and drove to the airport.
There was no guide on the return transfer. Probably read the reviews.
The Club Hotel Tropicana is located on the southeast coast of Mallorca, in its deepest ass, a quiet retreat from the noise and parties. At the same time, the transfer from the airport is not long, it took about an hour (only 3 families were on the bus, we were the first).
Friendly girls at the counter at the airport indicated which bus to get into, and our hotel guide Svetlana (AnexTour) got on the bus when everyone was already assembled.
After a short story about (myself) about what a heavenly place we (stumbled into) got into, that Mallorca has everything you need for complete happiness, that her phone number is indicated on the booklet, but she cannot answer calls, and it’s better to write on WhatsApp, she, turning on the music, began to closely monitor the actions of the driver, explaining that the Spaniards have a special mentality, and that they don’t work hard, and they don’t even bother with learning English. “Apparently, the driver has not yet been tested, ” we thought.
However, curiosity won out and we began to pester her with questions about sights, car rental, traffic and parking features in Mallorca. It turned out that there are no toll roads on the island, parking is paid only in the center of Palma, where these paid places are outlined in blue lines. This was followed again by a careful study of the actions of the driver, which continued until the hotel.
“Apparently, he wants to learn how to be a bus driver, ” we thought, and did not resist anymore.
- And here is the Tropicana! - Svetlana exclaimed, letting us go to the exit. - We will meet the day after tomorrow at 11-00, tomorrow I have a big day of arrivals and departures of tourists.
“Of course, ” we agreed, “tourists are the main thing, ” and we went to unload our suitcases.
We couldn't say goodbye to our guide. The driver, taking care of other passengers, very quickly jumped into his seat and the bus drove off, leaving us alone. Svetlana (beating the windows and doors from the inside) left without getting off the bus.
The entrance to the hall of the administrative block is decorated with a door made of natural wood. It can be seen that modern Europeans are not used to such luxury and constantly (rubbed against it) used it, as a result of which places of natural wear appeared. But the door continues to function.
An administrator named Joan (Joan? Joan?
) checked us in quickly, put on all-inclusive straps, jokingly tried on scissors to his finger, took money for the resort fee (43 Euros) and for the safe (36 Euros) and told us where to go. The pedestrian non-erotic journey was short-lived, after a hundred meters we stumbled upon our house.
The doors to the room are not as luxurious as at the reception, so previous tourists did not stand on ceremony with them. It can be seen that the glass has changed, and in the care of the guests, it is additionally reinforced with sealant.
The first thing that meets a tired traveler in the room is a fan. On the ceiling. I hung for ten seconds when I saw him. “My happy hairy childhood is back, hello Soviet Union, ” I thought, but my wife brought me back to reality by pushing me inside from behind.
The entire opposite wall is occupied by a built-in wardrobe. Damn, where's the toilet? That's right, (in the yard) in the closet, the right door of the closet is him.
Both the wardrobe and bedside tables are again made of solid wood.
But since these items are different in each room, the traces of popularity are not as pronounced as at the door at the reception.
The safe is locked with a key. On the key is the room number. It is very convenient, if the key is lost, any of the people around can help the key find its owner (and the contents of the safe - its own). The key tags were removed before the day of departure.
The beds and mattresses are adequate, the (dog's) extra bed is almost as big as the (master's) main one.
The water in the sink comes with a true Spanish temperament. During the siesta. Splattering something around is unrealistic. The cistern in the toilet is filled by the evening for about ten minutes. And the float is installed somewhere on 1 / 3-1 / 2 of its capacity, in order to (less clog the sea) save water. Fen? Well, do you remember the Soviet Union? There is a hair dryer. At the reception for a deposit. Return the hair dryer - they will return the deposit. After all, a hair dryer is not cheap, and they can break it ...
The shower works fine, and the water pressure and temperature.
After reading reviews about the Tropicana, we overpaid in advance for a room in the Priority zone, closer to the reception. And, having passed through the territory, they realized that this money was spent irrevocably. Other houses are located really far away. This is not the first line, and not the second, but the eighteenth line of Vasilyevsky Island. Go under the scorching sun to the rise of 600-700 meters. If you decide (suddenly) to go there - definitely a priority sector.
On the map of the hotel, tennis courts are located in the farthest place from the sea. And in the evening upon arrival, and the next day, we went to them (well, it was not in vain that they carried rackets and sneakers for 7500 km), but we did not find them. Puzzled, they went to Señ or Joan with a question. “Know tennis, ” Joan answered… There are courts on the map in the hotel itself. On the sites in the description of the hotel - there is. On Google satellite images there is! In reality, no. Or are we in some wrong reality?
Three huge pine trees grew in front of our house, providing shade both on the "porch" and on the lawn in front of it. Following the example of those around us, we dragged 2 loungers on the gas in front of the room and in the afternoon studied the nooks and crannies of our subconscious not in the room, but in this shadow.
Cuisine, according to reviews, Spanish is good everywhere. Tropicana is no exception. Seafood daily, two types of meat daily, excellent cheeses, wines, sangria and beer (Mahou) are also very good. In general, we ate well, we used the right door of the cabinet according to what we ate.
Here is the first place in my experience where the sandy beach does not contradict the transparency of the water. The beach is a hundred meters wide, surrounded on both sides by rocky spurs protruding into the sea. Sandy, white, interspersed with seaweed, sticks and umbrellas, with a boardwalk. He is cleaned every day for 5 minutes by a local native. What I did not have time to remove (gobies, algae) will remain until tomorrow, will not go anywhere.
Then (at about 9 o'clock in the morning) the aborigine sweeps the sand applied by vacationers from the boardwalk with the help of a motorized blower back onto the lying vacationers, after which he starts collecting (taxes) payment for umbrellas. The price for their use (5 Euros for an umbrella and 4.20 for each sun bed) implies payment (the right to break them, glue them and break them again) for the high service of this beach with VAT deducted to the treasury of the Kingdom of Spain. For all those who do not want to pay to the treasury of the kingdom, there is an option to cross the (sea and rocks) hill and the neighboring beach and buy a folding beach umbrella 200 cm in size for 8-9 Euros and a reed mat for 2 Euros in the shops near the Globales America hotel. And for (especially greedy) people who are afraid of getting burned, like us, the optimal mode is from 8 to 10 at sea, then until 16:30 under the pines and from 17:00 again to the beach.
We swim, dry, and we don’t need an umbrella, and we have our own cover (although, for our unwillingness to pay the kingdom, we stole it from us at night 3 days before departure (the bailiffs took it) right from the porch).
Those who want to swim have to walk a lot. The entrance is very gentle, such a large "paddling pool", up to 30 meters into the sea we walk boldly. But this movement is also curvilinear, because it is necessary to bypass balls and branches of algae floating on the surface (kakuli), pieces of polyethylene and toothbrushes. Yes, the Balearic Sea is rich in gifts. Not only a toothbrush, but also an empty can of motor oil, and plastic bottles of milk, it brings back to people. However, it wakes up late and brings its gifts closer to 11-12 o'clock, in the morning you can still swim. In the evening, you can also, but be careful.
And there are jellyfish. In the very first swim, the son received a burn of 4x5 centimeters in the shoulder from a jellyfish, which only went to the house.
On the same day, another small child (also Russian) received a face burn. Medusa was found, pulled out (and eaten), but then their colleagues were met 3 more times.
Summary of the beach: the water is clean but dirty : ), the service is spanish.
On the 3rd day we saw Svetlana again. Everyone is used to the fact that hotel guides sell tours from their company at horse prices, and even deliver them to partner stores. But no, our guide was honest with us and did not agitate for any (excessive) excursions. When asked if the sea is so rich here all the time, because the reviews say that everything is OK, she grunted vaguely and said that she doesn’t read reviews. She is not interested in them. A wave of envy washed over me. It's great when a person does what interests him in life. And does not do what is not interesting. And the problems of the Indians of the sheriff do not care ...
In general, we ordered a car through her (Peugeot 208 for 45 Euros per day plus extended insurance for tires, windows and mirrors 6 Euros), and said goodbye forever.
As it turned out, forever.
In the reception of the Tropicana and in the village near the Hotel America, car rental is even more expensive.
By the way, about Wi-Fi. It is only in the reception area, and expensive. Half an hour - 4 Euro, an hour - 6 Euro, 15 days - 25 Euro (! ). I was categorically against connecting the Internet for 2000 rubles and getting my son hanging with a tablet on youtube in the reception area instead of swimming in the sea, and 4 Euros for writing messages in WhatsApp to Svetlana without the hope of a quick answer is also absurd.
The next day we went to Palma-Valldemossa-Alcudia on a rental car. There is nowhere to park your car in Palma. We found a paid multi-level parking with a per-minute payment (about 3 cents / min) and went to enjoy the medieval city and Gaudí 's creation. The palm tree is clean, there are no garbage dumps every quarter, as in Corfu or Kos, 20-25% of shops are open on Sunday, so there was no flea market. The cathedral is beautiful.
More majestic than elegant, but impressive from a distance. Nearby - massive heavy walls, and gargoyles sticking out of all the cracks. The entrance is closed with an iron grate so that tourists do not interfere with the local (to distract the Lord from his affairs) to pray. According to rumors, the entrance is only as part of excursion groups and 17 Euros from the nose. However, it is not cheap in the country of the Holy Inquisition of God to distract. Ours is much cheaper.
Valldemossa is a village by a village. Chopin and his girlfriend George Sand were apparently engaged in agritourism there. On the slope of the green mountains, of course, white and yellow houses look pretty (sakli of the mountaineers), but in order to carry excursions there by buses ...And suddenly: on the streets of Valldemossa we saw blue lines of paid parking. I remembered Svetlana, the story that paid parking is only in Palma and only in the center, and she “does not read reviews”. Apparently, not only reviews do not read. After spinning for about three minutes, we found where to park for free, and went to wander.
In the restaurant opposite the monastery, they simply did not refuse to serve coffee and pastries. The waiter, having heard "cappuccino and ensaimades" simply turned away. Truly gallant, he did not shock us with his ignorance of English. But our people in their Valldemossa showed us where you can just take coffee with a bun. A coffee house in the courtyard, on the terrace in the shade of the vines ...mmm ...Pastries (coca de patata) are excellent, even local sparrows climbed right into the hands for pastries. And coffee for four with a minus, and the sparrows were no longer striving for it, which is typical.
Alcudia as a village did not interest us, but we heard about the beach. Not wide (five meters in total), purest white sand, and so - 8 kilometers of coast. The places where the hotels are rammed with bodies tightly, in between - freer. The water is clean and warm, like ours, there is almost no garbage on the surface (of condoms). We swam and went to our place.
The remaining 9 days passed like the frames of a film, they seemed to be different, but similar, the transfer arrived exactly at the appointed time, the Spaniard driver showed the names on a piece of paper, we nodded in the affirmative and drove to the airport.
There was no guide on the return transfer. Probably read the reviews.
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