Не прокатит даже с пивом, особенно китайская кухня в отеле... It won't work even with beer, especially the Chinese food in the hotel...

It was the eighth journey of Sinbad: Germany, Belgium, the Netherlands, France, Italy, twice Thailand and finally China.
The vacation fell in January, so deciding not to strain yourself with heat and high humidity, but still get a tan and swim in the sea water, we chose Hainan, Sanya.
Nothing supernatural was expected from the hotel, we chose one so that we could just spend the night. In this sense, there are no surprises. Weak "troechka", rather "deuce".
So, the cabinet in which the refrigerator stood was broken - the hinges were untwisted. At the first attempt to open the closet and get to the refrigerator, the wife got a broken door on her leg. Repair with a penknife took 3 minutes. Now the question is: they themselves, the owners of the hotel, could not do this trifle. I wouldn't remember it if not for further events.
There was no toilet paper in the toilet. Well, we are experienced riders, as always we took a roll with us - maybe wipe our hands or dust somewhere. Helped out.

The room was considered "garden view", in fact it was "parking view".
Directly in front of the window, and we lived on the 1st floor, a car park was arranged with appropriate markings on the pavement. The Chinese, a very expressive and noisy people (more noisy than even the Italians, whom I previously considered the result of incest between Muscovites and Gypsies), had a habit of driving into the parking lot at night. Despite the fact that the cars in China are new, well-groomed, with good mufflers, the Chinese themselves, who arrived at night, clamored like Turukhansk gulls. They could be heard much better than even the construction site, located nearby. Construction, in fact, did not deliver any inconvenience.
In order not to burden ourselves with some kind of schedule, not to become rigidly attached to the hotel, we always try to take "BB". They did the same this time. Well done we!
So, first breakfast. Noodles with a meager amount of meat twisted to the size of a poppy seed. I think it was buffalo, at least the dryness of the meat suggested that it was.
Two types (according to the degree of density, but not the content), - I don’t know what it’s called, when a small amount of rice floats in muddy water... soup (? ).
Necessarily hard-boiled until blue chicken eggs, which the Chinese "sweep" with great pleasure. My wife and I are not Chinese.
Several times there were stewed pieces of tomatoes with a finely chopped egg. A couple of times there was either a turnip or a swede, with finely chopped bones, on which, upon careful examination, one could find microscopic remains of tendons, a couple of stewed carrots, cut into large pieces, with the addition of something obviously not of meat origin. I'm not exaggerating!
Several times there was boiled rice, slightly flavored with soy sauce and powdered with ma-alam, with the amount of grated and finely ground eggs.
From vegetables there were always tomatoes (four times cherry), fresh cucumbers, Chinese lettuce, even three times with chopped onions. There was always sweet Chinese mayonnaise.

There were buns in abundance. Necessarily small baked "pampusiki" the size of a Soviet metal ruble, once even with finely chopped cucumber and mayonnaise, like a sandwich. A couple of times they ate slices of sweetish bread cut into thin slices, powdered on top with something like ketchup (choo-ut - a little) and with something like the smallest flakes of dried meat (? ), which I’m not completely sure of, I couldn’t taste it, it was smeared somehow. . .
The peculiarity of Chinese eating is that most of the dishes have a sweetish taste, there is almost no salt, but there is no salt on the tables either... After a long search, I somehow found a common salt shaker.
They didn’t drink juices every day (thank God! ), what kind of juices, with an abundance of fruits (! ) were made from powder (!!! )
More often there was tea (Chinese, Yo! brewed directly with bags, Yo! In the same container from which you pour it into a glass.
I can convey my attitude to Chinese tea with only one comparison: having traveled a lot in Evenkia, Transbaikalia, Khakassia, Tuva, the Northern Urals, etc. , sometimes, for lack of anything else, I drank water from a swamp, barrels, similar reservoirs. After boiling, this water, if it is not seasoned with anything for taste and aroma, is quite akin to Chinese tea.
Tea, I must say, I mean good English, Indian, Ceylon tea, tea and I, and my wife are very fond of.
There was also coffee. Well, it was and was, I don’t remember either the taste or the aroma of it. Chinese coffee. . .
There were always plenty of Chinese steamed dough buns. Different colors. I can’t say anything about the taste: we tried these works of Chinese culinary art before, so we didn’t take risks.
Buns were plentiful! All conceivable colors of the rainbow: white, yellow, purple, coffee, with tints. . .
Everything. There is nothing more to remember about the famous Chinese cuisine. I mean, it's hard to remember anything positive.
We ate several times in the hotel canteen. Going there more often (daily) and making sure that there was nothing besides this "nausea", they climbed into the refrigerator, took out carpaccio, raw smoked sausage, in extreme cases, cold snacks from KFS or Macdonald's and hammered this feeling of hunger.

Lunch and dinner went to the city (hotel on the outskirts). Sometimes they ate on the beach in the evening. A Chinese came, who brought fresh ruby ​ ​ (several types), stingrays, squids, chicken wings, giblets, bylochki, which they immediately fried along with the rest on charcoal, tofu cheese (from soy), mushrooms, etc. , etc. d. If not for this Chinese, with its fabulous abundance (compared to hotel cuisine), we would have to wander into the city every day (it takes about 10 minutes to drive to the nearest, not the best restaurant with European cuisine, but it was not the best of the restaurants) We , after the frills in the hotel, I liked the Beryozka restaurant the most.
Ilya (I am writing this to the owner of the restaurant), thank you for not letting me die in the throes of malnutrition and indigestion! And a big hello to your companion Edward! Thank you, guys!!!
Well, what else about the hotel?
Towels could not be changed every day, leaving a wet and dirty towel from among those included in the mandatory set on the toilet lid...
They could "forget" to put shampoo and shower gel, leave rubbish and other people's hair on the floor (my wife and I are both short-haired and do not shed). They could have left water on the floor in the toilet room - the drain in the floor was fixed so that part of the water did not flow there by itself...
Yes, I almost forgot! Don't buy beer at the hotel! During the day it costs 2-3 times more than a Chinese shopkeeper across the road, 70 meters from the hotel.
About the beer itself: Anchor and Tsingtao tasted pleasant, but despite the declared 4-odd degrees, neither beer "inserts" in any way, even if you drink a bucket.
And the last thing: they always remembered Thailand in a positive context. . .
I almost forgot!
Literally before leaving, we were "charged" with the Chrystmas party!
My wife and I still know from Thailand - what a divorce it is for money.
We were wrong!
Chrystmas party in Thai is just a social event compared to the Chinese chrystmas party.
I don’t remember such misery even during my student days, when, in anticipation of a scholarship or some kind of “coven”, the students in the hostel “ate the last horseradish without salt”!
And the most interesting thing is that "Pegasus" insists on its non-participation in the sawing of the dough received for this, if I may say "fun and gorging. " Well, we had a bottle of Red label with us for our entire company of six people at the table. And then there was nothing to remember. Well, of course, apart from the kind words about the hotel and the Pegasus with their forced amusements like jumping over a bamboo stick by the children who were present at the party...