Отравили, волосы в еде и пытались общитать Poisoned, hair in food and tried to communicate

My wife and I decided to find out what a ski resort is! did not want to go because for me, paying 10.000 euros for a room was a little expensive, and there were no other costs at the very NG. But my sister persuaded me, she said it would be cool! And to save money, we rented one designer two-room suite for three for 13 thousand. We arrived tired at night and realized the designer was a drug addict! You enter a cramped room and next to the bed there are two glass offices - a bathroom and a toilet, there are no doors, you can only close the transparent partition tightly, so if you poop or wash you can be seen, the designer did not think about the spread of smells either. Imagine, your wife is lying next to you, your sister is in the next room, and you need to relax, in general, in the morning I asked to move us - there are no rooms. I called the hotel manager, the elderly uncle was very amused by the story about his sister, wife and glass toilet, but he says there are no rooms, but there is a family from another non-designer building that also wants to move. Hooray! We looked at each other's rooms and even though in that room to get into the second room you have to go through the toilet, which has two doors, so to speak, a walk-through system, it's still the best option. Moved.
The next morning, at breakfast, I came across the black hair of a mighty warrior in scrambled eggs, very strong, I would also like such hair for myself. I told the waiter about this, they joked, she said that she would kill the cook, my heart became warm and I calmed down.
The first day I tried skiing - not mine, the board is better, the second day I rode the board - CLASS, although scary, the slopes are steep for beginners. My wife mastered the board with an instructor, I don’t know who is right and who is to blame (let him be), in general, she fell on her arm, broke her wrist, cried not from pain - the rest was covered! The hospital in Ischgl is good, but there are two of them, one private - only an examination costs 500 euros and a municipal one - plaster and all the pills cost us 350 euros and the doctors are mega cool, everything is quickly clear at a high level.

On the same day, strange but tasty raw meat was served for dinner, he ate his portion and two portions of his companions, they did not dare and well done. I screamed loudly all night, and after three days I lay without getting up. While I was lying, I noticed that the room was very, very dusty, if you waved a blanket - visibility was reduced, I tried to roll over less. In general, the picture was funny, I’m lying green and my wife with a plaster next to me, both grumbling how we don’t like it here.
On the fourth day after the “infection”, I felt better, went down for breakfast, took an omelette with bacon, and again there was hair in the bacon, already baked in oil, well, I broke loose and called this old manager of the manager told him everything about meat and twice about hair and about design and about dust, said that I would definitely leave a review about your hotel, to which he said this could not be all - leave it. I leave.
By the way, if you still decide to go to this hotel, ask the waiters to bring water in a closed bottle and open it in front of you, it’s more correct and the water is different.
And the last thing, when leaving, I look at the bill for extra. room service, I think 2500 euros is a bit much, although we ordered a lot while I was lying. It turned out that the family with whom we exchanged numbers took four sets of skis for the entire vacation and wrote it down to the number, after which they moved and safely disappeared without paying. For about an hour I explained to three people in turn that we don’t need three and four sets, I found and showed receipts from the store where we took the inventory and cheers! I'm finally going home!