A day in the life of a travel agency

- Good afternoon. Travel agency "SP GROUP", my name is Angela, I'm listening to you. … How can I contact you? ... Andryushenka? You mean Andrew? … No, you don't like Andrey? Well, let Andryushenka be there ... What does it mean: “Tour to prostitutes?”, We are actually a travel agency, not an escort service ... What other “red-light” pro ... Wait, you mean a tour to Amsterdam, to the Red Light District "? ... Yes, we have such tours ... Yes, there are prostitutes there ... Yes, a lot ... There is an optional excursion to this area ... No, optional, this is not what you thought, and the first three letters in the word optional, you misinterpreted ... No, this is when you visit the quarter with a group ... No, it's not a visit by a group of girls, but a visit by a group of tourists to the QUARTER !!! … Well, there you pass by the shop windows in which the girls are standing, … what-what? ... Well, personally, you can not pass by, but go to them! … No, we can’t book girls in advance, it’s you yourself … In Amsterdam, 15 minutes of “work” for a girl costs 50 euros… No, I didn’t work there, I just know… How do I know that they do fifteen minutes there? !?!? (five minutes later) … I listened with interest to your sexual fantasies, I was especially impressed by the idea of ​​the "Unapproachable Stewardess" set, but maybe let's get back to the selection of the tour? ... No, I'm not a blue-eyed blonde with a third breast size ... Andryushenka, I won't give you my phone number ... And in general, I won't give you anything !!! … Hmm, hung up…

- Good afternoon. Travel agency "SP GROUP", my name is Angelica, I'm listening to you! … Don’t shout, I can hear you well… So, you were vacationing in Egypt from our agency, I understood that, then… There you broke your arm, clearly, I’m very sorry, but how exactly did you break it? … You don’t remember exactly, yeah, but did you drink that day? ... First whiskey, then rum, then gin and vodka... Actually, they drink gin with tonic, and you with vodka... Did Tolyan advise that? Good man, your Tolyan, I'm listening further... You said that you drank... Gin with vodka, vodka with gin, and then don't you remember? So, then you decided to freshen up... At sea? ... They didn’t let you into the sea, they said it was too late? What time was it? ... Was it dark? Well, this is normal, in Egypt you can’t swim in the sea at night ... No, they are not goats, these are general rules ... So-and-so, and you decided to freshen up in the pool? ... On a bet, Tolyan and I fled and jumped to the center of the pool ... Only he was in the usual one, and you were in the children's ... And there were no children there? … Well, thank God, there were no children in the pool at half past four in the night, they were lucky here … So, then you got up and saw that your arm was unnaturally twisted? And what did you do? ... Went to the bartender for painkillers ... Did he have a first aid kit? Not? … Did he give you a glass of Gordon's painkiller? An interesting medicine ... Did you call the doctor? ... Yeah, Tolyan advised against it - he does not trust Arab doctors ... So what did you do three days before departure? … Holding a glass with your left hand … I actually meant what did you do to treat your hand? … You find it difficult to answer, because you have already sobered up at home, on the couch … So what do you want from us? … Understood, hand and liver treatment reimbursement, STOP, which liver? … In the certificate from the local doctor, it is indicated that when you hit the bottom of the pool, you developed cirrhosis of the liver? So, immediately, took and developed? … Ah, you have known the doctor for a long time, he is your old friend, sorry, friend… Well, leave your coordinates, our director will contact you and tell you the decision… All the best.

Good afternoon. Travel agency "SP GROUP", my name is Angelica, I'm listening to you! Yes, we have a lot of tours to Egypt… Worst hotel ever? Strange requirement, we don't have bad hotels! … Wait, don't hang up, I'll try to find it! … Per person, breakfast only, second line, what? ... No, there is no third line in Egypt, further, a room with a view of the construction site, without a heated pool, yeah, I wrote it down, what other requirements? … No, I don’t know where exactly there are cockroaches in the rooms … Well, people from one hotel recently arrived and complained … Don’t worry, I’ll check with them exactly where this room is located and book it for you. What else? … Transfer to the hotel is included in the tour price … I don’t know, I never found out if it can be canceled, and you plan to take a taxi yourself? … The hotel is seven kilometers away… On foot?!?!? What for? What does it mean: "It will come by itself"? Who are you booking the tour for? … Did you promise your wife that you would buy a tour to Egypt for her mother? Hmm, I see. ... Well, I’ll cancel the transfer, but it will cost more - after all, individual design! … No, there are no sharks near the beach of this hotel … We can’t launch it on purpose, the ecologists won’t allow it … Stop by, pay, dear…, an unforgettable vacation for your mother-in-law…

- Good afternoon. Travel agency "SP GROUP", my name is Angelica, I'm listening to you! … I told you that my name is Angelica, not KISA! ... Let's come to a compromise: not Angelica, not Kitty, but simply without a name? … Listen, where would you like to go? … Yes, I know the Canary Islands, we sell tours to Spain … I’m not stupid, it’s just that the Canary Islands are in Spain … The Canary Islands, this is the Canary Islands … Yes, there are several of them … I’m sure, but if you want, I’ll check on the map … ( in a minute) ... Yes, I checked, the Canary Islands are Spain ... Yes, for a long time ... If we are done with this, we select further. Where would you like to go in the Canary Islands? ... Yes, it's funny: "Better in the Canary Islands than in the bunks", a great joke ... Do you need a cool car to the airport? Which one, exactly? … Black tinted beha? You see, tinting is prohibited in Europe, but I will try to find out, we will specially tint for you, and then we will perform the reverse operation ... How many people will you be? ... Clearly, you and two boys, how old are your children? … Oh, sorry, I didn’t understand that “boys” are business partners, not children, so three adults… Requirement for a hotel? … Uh-uh, you know, “nishtyak”, this is a very vague description of the hotel, can you be more precise? ... To "hang cool"? Hard case… Okay, I'll pick up a tour for you and send you a description. All the best, stay tuned.

- Good afternoon. Travel agency "SP GROUP", my name is Angela, I'm listening to you. …Yes, we book in Turkey. … Do you need a hotel without Russians? It's expensive... Even so, do you need a hotel without Russians that doesn't even have Russians buying hotel tours without Russians? Okay, I'll find out and call you back, leave your coordinates.

- Good afternoon. Travel agency "SP GROUP", my name is Angela, I'm listening to you. … Yes, we are dealing with Egypt… I can pick up a tour according to your wishes… What are your requirements for a hotel? … For the booze to be great?… Well, then it's four or five stars, what are the other requirements? ... So that the snack was good? This implies, which line do you prefer? … I mean the coastline, do you need a hotel with its own access to the sea, or not? … No, they don’t pour into the sea, there is a bar near the sea, they pour it there. Do you need the sea at all? … Not? Then we take the second line ... What else? … I cannot guarantee you a sincere company for joint drinking of alcoholic beverages. I think there will be alkanes, excuse me, tourists who appreciate alcoholic drinks. How much do you expect? ... Four hundred and seventy-three dollars? Such precision… Wait, are you counting on two?!?!? I'm afraid this won't be enough... Do you and your brother no longer have it? No, this amount is not enough... We don't give loans... And we don't believe in debt... No, we don't need movers... All the best, I'll be glad to hear from you in the future.

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