The horrors and delights of the bus tour

Pleasures and horrors of the bus tour

One fool went on tour

We all want to have a good rest in the summer and gain strength for future achievements, we want to visit the seas or those places that have not yet been seen. Kirillovka-Turkey-Egypt - it seems to be quite banal, but a trip to Europe is yeaaah, it's kind of cool.

So the devil pulled me to go on a bus tour of Europe. The trip was called very attractively - "The best minutes in Italy", the route - Lviv-Eger-Budapest - Padua - Rome - Venice, without night crossings, many excursions were offered in the description of the tour.

We started from Lviv at about 10 am, crossed the EU border without any problems. Our guide - a charming blonde Tanechka - gave us programs and maps of the route with the indicated mileage. At first I did not pay any attention to this card, but in vain. It would be better if they showed it to tourists before buying a tour ...

But we're already on our way.

The first stop - the Hungarian city of Eger - is 500 km from Lviv. On the way, they let me out to the toilet twice with the words: “Sanitary tooth 15 minutes, don’t be late.” 29 people were running and celebrating their mournful deeds in the “kіmnata schastya” and also running to buy food and drink in completely stupid shops at gas stations. We arrived at Eger - the Valley of Beauties - at about 17-30 in the evening, exhausted and tired. The whole tour took about 5 minutes, the guide quickly shared with us scant information about the area and led us to a tasting of Hungarian wines and goulash.

Goulash was brought in a large iron bowl, it is a kind of tomato soup with meat and beans. Then followed a wine tasting and contests - who will drink more wine, which the boy pours in a thin stream into the mouths of the contestants from a special vessel.

The wine was normal, in principle, relaxed, goulash - well, I would add sugar, and the event itself for 13 euros didn’t pull at all. We ate, ran through the toilets - and again on the bus, for the night in Budapest.

From Eger to Budapest, according to the figures indicated in the route sheets, it is 140 km, and we dragged ourselves to our hotel for about 4 hours. At night, Budapest sparkled with lights invitingly, but alas, there was no time or energy to walk around the Hungarian capital in the evening. I really wanted to eat or at least drink hot tea or coffee, but the restaurant was already closed. My roommate took a kettle and a jar with her, and this saved us from starvation)) The Budapest Hotel is very decent, we slept excellently. Breakfast also pleased with its abundance and taste, we even managed to steal a couple of eggs, a bun and a couple of tea bags on the path.

Sightseeing tour of Budapest pleased.

St. Stephen's Cathedral, the most beautiful Parliament building, a statue of Ronald Reagan ... But, by the way, what to tell - just look at the pictures)))

After the review, several more excursions were planned, but I ignored them. It was hot, I really wanted to swim, especially since in Budapest there is where to do it - in the world-famous Szechenyi baths. The tour program did not include visiting the baths, so I decided to get there on my own. Our guide sluggishly tried to dissuade me, but in the end handed me a metro card, and I went for a walk around the Hungarian capital myself. Clearly, I walked through the boutiques, bought a new thing and a couple of souvenirs, and went to look for the subway.

In the subway, I tried for a long time to buy a ticket from the machine (oh, my ignorance and lack of knowledge of English !!!).

I hung around them, watching with envy how all sorts of colorful people do it easily and simply, until salvation arrived in time - a Russian-speaking woman showed me how to select the Russian language on the machine. I felt even dumber, but I bought a ticket. Then my ordeals on the subway began. I foolishly sat on a red branch instead of a yellow one - where did I look? I got to the right station (the names, by the way, are similar and both penultimate ones), got out - and there is just a square, people, trolleybuses, buses and no hint of a bath. I tried to ask someone - no one understands me. There were three women standing under a tree with banners that said "Let's overcome the language barrier", but they didn't understand a damn thing either. After half an hour of futile attempts to find out where the baths had gone, I decided in disgrace to return to the group’s gathering place, and already in the metro I realized that I had gone in a completely different direction.

My stupidity and ignorance stole an hour and a half of precious time from me, but I still found the baths!

“The whole world bathes in the Szechenyi baths” - this is what the locals say about them and do not go there at all. It is understandable - there are a lot of tourists there. In round warm pools, people of all nationalities and skin colors are splashing with squeals of delight, and fat men, standing waist-deep in water, are playing chess. The bathhouse was built in the modern renaissance style between 1909-1913. There are 3 pools outside, 14 more indoors - with different temperatures of medicinal water. The cost of visiting is 18 euros, food can be bought in a cafe, they cook quite tolerably, but be careful, check the change - they will cheat and not blink an eye.

Having swum to my heart's content in warm and cold pools, I was getting ready for a river trip along the Danube.

I bought buns in the subway, got lost in the square again, bought a purely Hungarian souvenir on the fly, an embroidered napkin cover for a pillow or a table. Why - it is not clear, but the aunt-seller ran after me for two blocks, probably as a reward for her perseverance.

A river trip along the Danube is simply superb, beautiful music, an interesting guide story, and unlimited champagne!

Day three. Padua. Toilet tragedies and rat races.

After a river walk, our group was taken to spend the night in a town with the sonorous name of Nagykanizsa, 210 km from Budapest. On the way they talked about healing waters, mud and Lake Baloton, they showed terribly decent films. We spent the night normally, ate well (I stole a bun, butter and jam) and went to Italy, to the city of Padua. 530 km from Nagykanizsa.

We went to Italy through the territory of Slovenia, 2 times released into the toilet and eat.

I had a hitch with the toilet - I had to throw 50 cents into the machine, buy a ticket “by the toilet”, “sell out”, so to speak, and present the ticket at the checkout so that the toilet amount would be deducted at the next purchase. I didn’t have any change, and while I got it and, with God’s help, managed both the toilets and the exchange business, it turned out that I was late for the bus by as much as 10 khvilin. The guide was already looking for me, and already on the bus she publicly scolded me for being “lazy”. Type - skin zapіznennya stolen from us an hour perebuvannya on excursions.

At about 2 in the afternoon we finally got to Padua. Our bus parked for about 10 minutes, in unison with all the delays, the guide Tulia was also late. The heat was incredible, it was unbearable to listen to the introductory part of the tour, even standing in the shade under a tree. Then we galloped through a beautiful square with statues, fountains and a canal. Who had time - photographed.

The guide ran her saiga into some lane, and the selfie-lovers rushed after her, like rats after Niels (Niels is a kid with a pipe who drowned rats). The streets in Padua are undoubtedly beautiful, but there is no time to stop, look around. Not to mention, to go to some store and look at something there, try on.

We rode to the church of St. Anthony, stood for 5 minutes. Outside, the cathedral is so-so, inside - rich decoration, chic sculptures, gold-gilding, etc. Photography is prohibited, you can not talk loudly. Our Tulia Saigakovna was whispering something, but my ear hurt and I couldn't hear anything. Cool cathedral - nice and cool.

Then they ran along the streets, lanes, some universities, boards, muzzles and monograms on the walls ... I was terribly hungry and thirsty, but dropping into a store for a bottle of water - this or a crime - you will delay the group, or you yourself will get lost and you will vomit.

Out of desperation, I took a picture with a terribly colorful bum and a pig in a shop window. Our tour ended in some beautiful square, which everyone was incredibly happy about. In parting, Tulia showed us the way to the supermarket, where we were supposed to "buy our own food and souvenirs for our relatives." For everything about everything, we were given 25-30 minutes of time, including the way back to the bus. “We’re not far from the bus, 10 hvilin pishki,” our charming guide Tanechka assured us, and the whole group rushed to the store for shopping.

Dear hostesses, how much time do you spend visiting the supermarket? Do you really fit into the "15 hvilin"? And if this is a new store for you, and even in another country? Crazy tourists, kicking each other with baskets, hurriedly stocked up on rolls, sauces, water, fruits and wine, trying to figure out how much it costs and how profitable it is in hryvnia terms.

People grew dissatisfied with the time trouble and the stupid organization of the excursion program. “What did we pay money for? Let them stand and wait for us, ”replies were heard.

I skimped and, together with part of the group, went to the bus. We walked very quickly, on the road our Tanechka galloped past us like a rabid goat - probably to meet us near the bus with bears and balalaikas. People pulled themselves up slowly, the heat, fatigue affected, and heavy packages with “souvenirs of the same” did not add speed. Tanechka rang out a balalaika - “We’ll stop, we’ll stop!”, and began to call the delayed members of the group. Drivers roared like bears: “The bus needs 9 years to pass according to the laws of the European Union, we will pay a fine!

» The latecomers were 40 minutes late and made a scandal upon arrival, recalling to the guide all the "charms" of the trip, those who arrived on time also got a consolation prize - they were not allowed to run to the toilet: "Chekat you!" In the end, everyone sat down in their seats and the bus started moving - they had to drive another 500 km to the hotel near Rome.

It's been a fun trip. Tourists took out wine and liqueurs from the packages and began to relieve stress. After about a couple of hours, the bus broke down and stopped for repairs right on the highway. Rain poured down. Tipsy tourists began to seep into the street - to smoke, etc. To Tanechka's meow - "Don't get off the bus, there will be a great fine!" - no one was paying attention, and Tanya herself somehow became bored and quietly sat in her chair.

The exhausted people found the “sanitary room” for themselves - they found a hole in the fence of the highway, and the fact that electric cables were laid there (thank God and European quality, perfectly insulated), everyone didn’t give a damn and ... Well, you understand))

We got to the hotel at around 23:00. In fact, in Padua we spent at most 3 hours, the rest of the time we were on the road. Truly - do not think about seconds down! Those were indeed minutes in Italy, although I cannot say that those minutes were the best.

Although the city of Padua is very beautiful, with great pleasure I would walk along it again, slowly)))

Day four. Eternal city - Rome.

The morning of the fourth day came, and all our rat-tourists gathered in the canteen in order to refresh themselves before the next sightseeing race. Breakfast was meager - a little bit of ham and cheese, and we had to queue for rolls.

Half of the group was tormented by a hangover, but there were no juices and mineral water in the assortment of the canteen.

Rome was reached by public transport - 20 minutes by bus, 15 minutes by metro. We left right next to the Colosseum. The tour guide Yana came quickly, handed out walkie-talkies with headphones to everyone, and we set off to explore the local sights. We examined the outside of the Colosseum, the Arc de Triomphe, the ruins of an ancient castle, visited the Pantheon, admired the Trevi Fountain, bridges over the Tiber and other attractions. The pace of the "walk" was habitually high, because of the desire to take high-quality pictures, the tourists now and then lagged behind the group. Iron Yana did not particularly expect anyone, the dubious joy of urging the stragglers peremptorily delegated to our Tanya: “Call them, let them hurry up!” Tanya yelled: “Oh, 10 euros for a call!”, but she began to diligently send SMS.

Only who will see them there in such a gallop and in the heat? Especially when you're busy posing for a selfie?

Oh, those selfie sticks, the vile invention of obscurantists! They finally and irrevocably defeated normal cameras, and completely divided people. If earlier it was possible to approach any tourist and ask to take a picture of you, now a selfie-stick person, with such a request, will first look at you like an idiot, in the worst case, pretend that he did not understand or did not hear the request, in the best case, he will take a picture you, but will do it with such a sour face, as if you were trying to put a boot on his head or fed him soap. So I ran around, pestering everyone with my unfortunate camera and stickless phone, until people began to frankly shy away from me.

By this time, all members of our group had already purchased these sticks for themselves, and I had to go broke on this vile offspring of a viper, the price of the issue was 3 euros. The offspring of the echidna didn’t want to work normally, I didn’t get selfies. After suffering for half an hour, I put the ill-fated stick in my bag, and the camera too. My group members were imbued with my problem and no longer snorted so much when I approached them with a request to photograph me against the backdrop of yet another Roman beauties. It is clear that again they ran past shops, past cafes, although the guide allowed us to eat ice cream near the Trevi Fountain. Praise the Gods!

And now the mega-race in Rome is over. Iron Yana led us to St. Peter's Square and gave us an hour of free time - to rest, eat, buy souvenirs, etc. I didn’t want to eat, the souvenirs were beautiful, but those that I liked - luxurious Murano glass bracelets - were too expensive (110 euros each).

In the basement of the souvenir shop, we found a coffee machine and a luxurious toilet. Oh, you have no idea what a thrill it is to splash in the washbasin in the toilet in St. Peter's Square! Most of our group spent most of their “resting” time in this toilet. I was also lucky - I finally established a relationship with a selfie stick, it turned out that I connected it incorrectly. And now the hour of magical toilet rest is over, and we went to the Vatican (it is worth writing a separate post about it).

In general, I liked the sightseeing tour of Rome. Iron Yana did not blunder - she presented all the material clearly, interestingly, with humor, told a lot of interesting facts about the city and its inhabitants. Of course, you can’t remember everything, especially when you are galloping through the heat, but I really hope that in the future I will be able to visit Italy again and walk around the eternal city at a slower pace.

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